Traveler's Meditation
by the ramblin rose
Summary: "Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back." -Robert Frost Eventually Caryl...though with contemplation/discussion of Tyreese/Carol and strong friendship there. They don't think they'll ever see each other again because roads lead naturally away from their starting point...
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So I'm always glutton for punishment.**

**However, my mind won't let me be at peace when it wants to start talking about something…telling a story…and I won't let it. I don't, however, think this one will be "that long" considering I already know most of what's going to happen…but we'll see.**

**So here's what I've got so far of this one. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not positive exactly where it's going, but I've seen a little into the future and I'm curious to see how it's going to play out. I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that "Caryl purists" might be bothered, because it's not going to be purely Caryl…but Caryl is going to be there. More after the chapter in an AN that contains spoilers if you want to know what to expect "romantically" besides Caryl. Don't read if you want the full impact.**

**This is an AU with Walkers, taking place "after" Season 4 with my own interpretation of what happens in the finale (since we haven't seen it) and with the characters going off in a direction that I've set for them. **

**Anyway, if you choose to read…I hope you enjoy! I'll update when my mind tells me I have to! **

**My disclaimer is that I do not own the Walking Dead or any of its characters. This is just for entertainment purposes and I don't get paid, etc. etc.**

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_We can't be around people any longer._

_There are no people left to be around._

_Only shadows of what once were people…hollow shells._

It had been centuries since they'd neared the place at the end of the line…a place that promised sanctuary but from a short distance sounded like terror and chaos.

And without words they'd both steered their steps away from the Promised Land that they'd thought they'd find and they'd taken another road…a road that led to somewhere different…or maybe led to nowhere at all.

Because the truth was that they were no longer fit to be around people, if people even really existed any longer, and stepping into whatever hell was unfolding would have been certain death for the three of them.

And they'd travelled on, not even knowing where they were going and not even bothering to question it at this point. Both of them carrying the fear that they were the last people left alive…and the fear that they weren't.

The passage of time was once something marked by seconds, moments, hours, days…once their lives had depended on knowing how much time had passed. It was, now that Carol reflected on it, perhaps an urgency brought on by wondering…not how much time had passed…but how much time there was that was left.

And had it not been for Judith, nature's natural way of marking the time, Carol might have been convinced that centuries really had passed since the day that she and Tyreese both had accepted that everything they'd ever known had changed and was gone. Nothing remained of any of the lives that they had known before…nothing remained of any of the forms that they had taken on…everything was only shadows and memories.

And the only future that was left, if there was even a future left, was the future that they saw in Judith's sweet eyes and in her happy smile…pleased because they found a piece of fruit to let her gnaw at…enjoying a short time some toy they found for her, something she would have to leave behind as they moved on in search of something that neither of them could quite put a name to.

Because they weren't looking for people any longer. Every time they neared a place that showed any sign of current life, they turned their feet and they ventured in another direction.

The only people that mattered to them…the only people that had ever mattered to either of them…were either dead or at their side. There would be no more. It was a silent agreement between them.

But now that it was growing cold…too cold to continue long without shelter…and now that Judith was growing too heavy to carry for the long spurts they travelled between sun up and sun down but was still too slow to keep up without costing them just as much time as passing her from one set of arms to the other…they both were realizing that their journey had to end, at least temporarily.

And that was when they found the farmhouse, like some kind of mirage set in a somewhat cleared area in the heavily wooded area where they traipsed, sometimes crossing their own paths, because often they forgot to carefully navigate their steps and they marveled at not having stumbled on it before, even if the fact remained that they hadn't seen it because their eyes hadn't been opened to it.

"It looks as good as anything else," Tyreese said. "Better…even…fireplace is a working fireplace…there's a well."

The place hadn't been difficult to clear. Three Walkers that they'd taken out easily enough, Judith's weight pulling on one of Carol's arms and her shoulder…a weight that they'd both learned to carry as naturally as they carried their own.

Carol put Judith in the living room floor where the girl wandered around, taking her own inventory of the place in silence, probably not knowing that this wasn't planned to be just another overnight stay like in the barns, houses, and sheds they'd called home before.

She stepped into the kitchen, found the stove to be a gas stove, and flicked it on. There must be a tank…because the burner lit.

"There's gas for a little while," she called out to Tyreese who was taking inventory.

"Looks to be a generator out back," Tyreese said, after she heard the squeak and thud of him moving through doors they'd closed behind them during their initial sweep. "Probably in rough condition…but with a little work, I might get it going…fences look pretty secure for now…if I can find the supplies I can reinforce them…hang barbed wire."

Tyreese's heavy footsteps echoed in the kitchen area as he came into the room and stood, looking at Carol.

"What do you think?" He asked.

Carol nodded her head.

"It's as good as anything else we've found," she said, knowing full well that they couldn't afford to be picky with the winter threatening to set in and freeze them to death without a guaranteed shelter.

Tyreese's face broke into something of a smile. He crossed the room and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into him.

Tyreese hugged more than anyone that she'd ever known, but there was a comfort in those hugs that couldn't be found in many other places these days. He rubbed a hand on her back.

"Looks like we've found home..." he offered.

"For a while," Carol agreed.

"Any food here?" He asked.

Carol broke away from him to start searching cabinets. There was food…not the biggest score they'd ever hit, but there was more than enough for a little while…especially once Tyreese found the pantry.

"There looks to be a basement too," Tyreese said, peeking through some door that Carol could only imagine must lead to the space that he presumed to be a basement.

He knew, though, how she felt about basements…so he would be the one to take on that exploration, when he felt up to it.

"I can start some supper…get us something to eat," Carol offered.

"I'm going to look for any lanterns that might be around," Tyreese said. "Collect them together…be ready for night. Should I start a fire?"

Carol offered him a soft smile and nodded her head slightly as she went through the food that the place had to offer them.

"That could be nice," she said.

And he took that as all the request that he needed, slipping off to do the chores he'd assigned to himself while Carol settled into preparing something that would keep them from starving to death. Something that would prolong this life that they now called their own.

_This was all the life that they had left anymore…and all they had to share it with was each other. _

_Everyone else that they had ever known were reduced to nothing more than ghosts that sometimes haunted their dreams…whether they were asleep or not. _

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_When you're going nowhere…you don't really care who wants to tag along…_

Daryl found his company as agreeable as he could find any company these days. He had thoughts sometimes of taking off on his own…leaving behind Joe and Zane…but he'd never done it.

Because even though he thought that it would be just about the same thing, sometimes, to be alone, he didn't really want to be alone.

But he didn't really want to be accompanied either.

_And therein lie the rub._

"Prob'ly last damn meat for months," Joe declared, particularly jolly for the cold evening that clearly reminded them that winter was coming. "Hate bein' a damn vegetarian…"

They were sharing a couple of possums that Zane had scared up and cooked over the small fire around which they now huddled for the meagre warmth it put off.

They were wanderers now…not that it really mattered.

Daryl couldn't care less where they went or if they went anywhere at all really. There no longer existed that feeling that there was somewhere to be or something to do. That feeling had been gone for so long that Daryl wasn't even sure any longer if he'd recognize it were it to overwhelm him.

Now they just survived…day in and day out. They stuck to land so overgrown with time and lack of use that they might as well not care where they went because they couldn't have kept track of it even if they bothered to employ the tracking skills they had between them to the mission.

And Daryl didn't care one way or another.

They had gone to the end of the line to look for the people that Joe and the men that were with them before had hard feelings for. And when they had gotten there, they'd found the place looking like a war zone. Shooting had broken out…screaming…blood…death. It had become some kind of battleground and they'd show up late to the fight.

And of the people there that Daryl even got close to while they spent very little time deciding if they'd stay or if they'd go, not a single one of them had worn a familiar face.

And when some stray bullet from a fight that wasn't there's had taken down the man travelling with them, a man that Daryl hadn't even bothered to get to know, he'd left as suddenly as they'd come with Joe on his heels. This wasn't their fight…there wasn't really anything worth fighting for anymore.

And Daryl tried to learn to accept his fate.

He would travel, until the end of the road, whenever and wherever he may find it, with Joe and whatever assholes they might end up with…which right now was only a boy named Zane who wasn't much of an asshole.

And they would avoid, at least as much as they could, having to come into contact with people…because the last battle that they'd stumbled into had reminded them that most people these days weren't the kind you really wanted to mix with anyway.

_And anyone that Daryl had ever given a shit for was dead now anyway…and he had little desire to go increasing the numbers. _

The best he could say, perhaps, was that the three of them were comfortable together, whether that was good or bad, and maybe that was the best that anyone could say while they walked through hell on Earth.

"Might be a little meat left still," Zane said. "Ain't even frosted yet…"

Joe laughed and threw the bone he'd been gnawing on at the fire that was dying quickly.

"Not enough for the winter, bet'cha balls on that," Joe declared.

Joe got up, moving around and getting his blanket rolls ready for sleep. They'd already hung the wire circumference around their camp that they took down every morning and put up every night. It wasn't a fool proof way of keeping Walkers out…but it was typically enough to slow them down and alert the men to their presence.

It wasn't like anyone slept soundly anymore anyhow.

Daryl took Joe's preparations as indication that they were sleeping now…and it was Zane's watch…but Daryl wasn't tired.

"Zane…go on an' sleep," Daryl offered. "I got watch…"

"Don't forget to wake him up in a couple hours," Joe offered. "Don't want no one draggin' ass tomorrow."

Daryl hummed his agreement with what Joe had said and moved a little closer to the dying fire, preparing to sit up with his thoughts while he waited until it was time to wake the boy and settle down in his own blankets with his dreams.

Not that his waking thoughts and his dreams were that much different anymore. Both were the same images…the same memories…the same painful scenarios…played over and over again like a torturous movie.

Both were merely reels of all the things that Daryl tried, but never quite managed, to forget.

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**AN: *SPOILERS***

**So basically as far as non-Caryl in this story (even though it's not completely non-Caryl), there is going to be some contemplation/discussion/consideration on Carol's part of starting a relationship with Tyreese based on the belief that there's just the two of them remaining. There will be a kiss and (for lack of a better term) the start to a make out session. I won't go into all the details…but as far as non-Caryl "romance" or whatever you want to call it…that's what you get. No one is actually "doing the dirty" with anyone else…but there is a little kind of angsty consideration.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Here we go, the second chapter. **

**For a while, the story will be heavier on the Carol/Tyreese narration with small Daryl parts. Just so you know.**

**I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! **

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Carol might not have even known Tyreese was coming if it weren't for the thump of his boots on the floor. They'd gotten really good at being quiet…they'd learned to open and close doors without noise, they'd learned to go long stretches in silence…communication taking place with their eyes, even Judith, it seemed, recognized the importance, even if she didn't understand it of silence, but there were some sounds that they never seemed to avoid entirely.

And Tyreese had a heavy footfall.

When he appeared in front of her, where she was sitting in one of the porch rocking chairs, he was carrying two juice glasses and had something bulky draped over his arm.

He passed her one of the glasses, not offering any word, and then he held the bulky mass out to her that she could tell was some kind of coat.

"I found this for you," he said. "It's going to swallow you twice…but it's warmer than what you've got."

Carol accepted the coat from him and put the juice glass she hadn't examined on the floor beside her chair, just long enough to get the oversized coat on. It was far too large for her…it might have fit Tyreese if he'd tried to wear it…but it was warm. It was too warm, really, for the night, but it had been a while since she'd been really warm and she'd accept it in the moment.

She picked the glass up and passed it under nose.

"What is this?" She asked as Tyreese sat down in the other rocker that he brought close to her.

"I was hoping you could tell me," Tyreese said with a chuckle. "Found it in the basement. There's enough down there to drown us all…not bad…but I have no idea what it is."

"So you drank it?" Carol asked.

Tyreese laughed and pushed his rocker so that it rocked, creaking slightly.

"Someone had to try it and I knew you would if I didn't…" he challenged.

He often gave Carol a hard time because she had, on more than one occasion, given herself an accidental case of food poisoning while trying to figure out just how sincere expiration dates were on the food that they found.

She tasted the liquid and coughed slightly into her hand, not having expected the potency of the sip that barely coated her tongue.

"It's strong…" she said.

"Why do you think I only poured you a little?" Tyreese asked. "I knew neither of us could drink more than a taste…but it does warm you up a bit."

She smiled and sipped a little of the few tablespoons of liquid in the glass, now more prepared for the flavor than she had been before.

"I don't know what it is…but it isn't bad…it's sweet," she commented.

"Apple?" He asked. "Peach?"

But the conversation over the questionable liquid faded out there since it would be nothing more than speculation on either part.

And silence fell over them again, but it wouldn't last too long…Carol already knew that.

Since they had decided to go on…since they'd decided to turn away from whatever was left of society…silence was something that was carefully guarded when it had to be…but avoided most other times.

Whether they filled the time with idle chat or they dared to speak about any of the things that hung with them from all the lives they'd left behind…all their many incarnations of the past…they talked to keep the thoughts at bay.

Just as Tyreese had done by coming out here…because Carol couldn't even take watch on an old porch without thinking about Mika and Lizzie…she couldn't sit on an old porch without thinking about Hershel's farm and Sophia…about all the faces of the past…about the man who kept her company then but made the silence more bearable.

"Seen anything?" Tyreese asked.

"No," Carol responded. "It's quiet…I haven't even heard anything."

And now the only thing she could hear was the light creak of the rocker that Tyreese kept in an almost steady motion.

"Jude asleep?" Carol asked.

"Yeah," Tyreese responded. "I put the mattress in the floor…for you and her…it might not be the most comfortable place, but the warmth from the fire's good there…she likes that rabbit you found her to sleep with."

Carol smiled to herself.

Judith was a sweet little girl. She was so very sweet…but she was different, in a lot of ways, than children used to be. It was almost like she knew…or maybe it was something just instinctively inside of her because she was born after the fall. But she was more serious than most small children…quieter…less prone to fuss.

But she was still sweet, and no matter how different she was, there were many things that reminded Carol daily that Judith was still a baby…and she'd still grow into a child…and she still needed to be protected.

But Carol didn't like to talk about it much because it filled her with a particularly cold type of fear to think of such things. The world these days was so cruel for the sweet and the innocent…so cruel that Carol almost wished it on the girl that she would be neither.

But there would be time to teach Judith all that she needed to know.

"At least she gets to keep it for a little while," Carol remarked, thinking back to the stuffed rabbit that she'd found in one of the upstairs bedrooms that had some toys and books…things Judith might enjoy over the winter. "Until we move on…"

"Tomorrow I'll check all the fences," Tyreese said. "And I'll scout the area…see where the nearest town is…or towns if we're lucky."

Carol shook her head to herself.

"No…we'll go together," Carol said, putting enough force in her words that he might not argue with her…even though she knew that he would.

"I'm not going to get supplies," Tyreese said. "Just to scout. You'll stay here with Judith."

Carol turned, barely making him out in the almost complete darkness that made it difficult to see your hands if you didn't know they were on the ends of your arms.

"No…you're not going alone," Carol said. "We all go together…"

"I know you like us to go together…but one of these days," Tyreese said, but he broke off, never saying whatever it was he was thinking.

Except Carol didn't need him to say the rest of it.

"One of these days you're not going to come back if you go off alone," Carol said.

"Better that than you…and Jude…" Tyreese said, his words trailing again.

"We go together," Carol said, "or no one goes…those are the rules."

Silence fell between them again.

The rules. Those were the rules.

Where one of them went, they all went. The only exceptions were made once they knew a particular area fairly well for one reason or another. Then, knowing what to anticipate, they felt a little more confident and one of them would stay behind in their safe shelter with Jude while the other scavenged. But until they knew what they were walking into and what danger they might face, they faced it together.

If they fell…they were falling together. It was difficult to face knowing that everyone else you cared about in the world was gone. It was difficult to know that the person, because Jude sometimes didn't feel quite like a whole person, that stood beside you was your last remaining link to society. It would be even more difficult to know, because they never returned, that you were left entirely and completely alone.

So those were the rules.

Until they knew the area well, when one of them left the safe shelter, they all left it.

And Tyreese wasn't arguing with the rules because he knew, and she knew it too, that if it had been her that proposed going out to scout for nearby towns alone tomorrow, he would never let it happen.

"I think we might not need to do too much to the fences," he said, changing the subject quickly. "Reinforce them…barbed wire…"

"An alarm system?" Carol asked.

"No," he said quickly. "It's good at alerting us, but it's too good at calling them up too…we're not doing that again."

Carol sucked in a breath and nodded her head, though he wouldn't see the gesture, she was sure.

One time when they'd built camp, they'd created an alarm system for themselves to help announce Walkers that approached. It worked wonderfully, calling their attention despite the fact they'd fallen asleep together, except for the fact that it had the one little flaw that they hadn't thought about. They'd been too careless to think that a noise loud enough to rouse them from their slumber might be loud enough to bring up more Walkers…more Walkers even than would have come on their own…more than they could handle.

And they'd had to flee with Judith because before they'd even known what was happening the small handful of Walkers that woke them had grown to a sizeable bunch…and they couldn't fight them.

They'd lost most of their supplies that way and barely escaped with their lives.

Tyreese was right. They didn't need to make that mistake again, even if the fences here were more secure.

"No alarms…you're right," Carol said softly.

"We should get some rest," Tyreese said after another few moments of silence fell between them. Carol drank down the last of the drops of strong liquid in her little class and turned it in her hand.

"You sleep," she said. "I'll keep watch…"

"You need to sleep as much as I do," Tyreese said. "We haven't heard or seen anything tonight…and I think it's because of the fences…"

"And the chill," Carol added.

"I think we'll be fine for the night," Tyreese said. "Could be the first night we both get a full night's sleep…"

Most nights they simply traded off. One person stayed up half the night, and then they woke the other to take over. It was taking its toll on both of them, perhaps, considering how limited the amount of sleep was that they were able to steal here and there…but it's what they had to do keep safe.

And if either of them bothered to tell the truth about it, they'd have to admit that even the time they had to sleep was seldom spent sleeping, especially if they were the first on watch, because whatever it was that had crept into their minds to keep them company in the silence didn't leave the moment that they burrowed down under blankets and tried to close their eyes against the visions that danced inside their eyelids.

But Carol was tired tonight…and whatever the pungent liquid was that she'd drank had relaxed her in a way that she hadn't been relaxed in a while. It made her feel like she might sleep if she committed to such a thing.

And she thought that Tyreese was right. It seemed as though the farm house was safe and that it would offer them a good place for the night.

She didn't answer him, but she did stand up and as she passed by him, she stopped, holding out a hand to him which he took as he rose up from the rocker.

And then he followed her inside, closing the heavy wooden door and bracing it with a piece of furniture he'd moved near it for just such a thing. The smallest precautions could buy you important moments.

He'd put a matress on the floor and Judith was curled up in the middle of it, though it was at least a queen sized mattress.

"You sleep on the mattress," Tyreese said, apparently seeing Carol taking inventory of the living room. "I've got the couch…"

"I had the mattress the last time we found one…" Carol said.

In response, Tyreese chuckled and sat down on the couch, pulling off his boots and making a show in the flicker of the small fire of arranging himself on the couch with a pillow and quilt that he'd brought in there.

Carol smiled and shook her head to herself, peeling off her coat and then easing herself down to sit on the mattress and rid herself of her boots. She reached and unsnapped her bra, taking it off inside of her shirt, and tossed it to the side…it wasn't as if Tyreese wasn't used to the practice in any of the places where she felt comfortable enough to remove any extra piece of clothing beyond her boots.

And then she slid down on the mattress, hugging the pillow that had been brought for her and pulling the quilt up around her before she closed her eyes, knowing that Jude would find her before long and Tyreese's snoring would play the background noise for whatever dreams her mind might decide to offer her.

She could only hope, as she did whenever she closed her eyes, that her mind would be kind tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Here we go, another little chapter.**

**I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! **

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"Need ta start lookin' for somethin'…" Daryl muttered to Joe as they were walking along, already contemplating where they might stay for the night.

Many nights they just built a camp outdoor, but with the cold moving in they needed to consider more complete protection from the elements.

"That's what we're doin'," Joe responded with a chuckle.

And Daryl realized he'd been misunderstood. He shook his head.

"No…I mean somewhere a lil' more…long term…" Daryl said.

Joe furrowed his brows slightly at him.

"For the winter," Daryl said. "Hell…I ain't no damn old man…an' neither is you…but we both too damn old ta be winterin' hard with our asses in the cold…it snows an' we'll freeze 'fore we wake the hell up."

This was about survival now…more than it ever had been before…more than it had even been at the beginning.

Daryl felt like he'd lost everything that meant anything…and all in the name of survival…all in the name of making it one more damn day on this giant garbage heap of Earth. So he was going to survive now for the sheer hell of it…simply to spit in the face of whatever it was that had decided that he would survive, but he'd do it at the cost of everything else.

And he wasn't freezing to fucking death…that wasn't the way he was going.

Joe nodded his head, though, understanding now that Daryl had been talking about the long term, not just finding shelter for a night.

"You right…" Joe said. "We head south, right the hell now…hell we'll walk our damn way on down ta the coast a' Florida…walk right into warmer climates. Find us some damn halfway houses as we go."

Daryl felt his chest seize slightly but he worked to keep his face from reflecting the inner turmoil that he felt. He had no reason to stay in Georgia…no real reason at all…and he'd have rather choked than admitted that he wanted to stay there because at least dancing around his ghosts was better than leaving them behind entirely and accepting, completely and for all times, that he no longer had any connection at all to anything from the past.

"We ain't gotta go all the damn way ta Florida," Daryl said, trying to keep his voice calm and even. "Hell…not yet…pick what we can an' move slow. We ain't even cleaned out the area…"

But he saw something flicker in Joe's eyes and he knew that the man could see through his attempts to keep completely cool and calm…as though his real concern was truly that they didn't miss some can of green beans some damn where in the state.

Something of a sympathetic smile played on Joe's lips.

"That lil' girl is dead, Daryl," Joe said, lowering his voice so that Zane, wandering at least five or six feet behind them wouldn't hear. Joe shook his head. "You know it an' I know it…she's gone…an' I'm sorry…"

Daryl chuckled ironically to himself and Joe clapped him on the shoulder.

Joe thought he was chuckling because he was laughing at the irony that Joe had figured him out. Really, he was laughing at the irony that Joe thought…he really believed, though he truly had no reason not to…that the thing that held Daryl as firmly tied to the area as he was, was the unending desire to find Beth.

Joe knew about Beth because Daryl had told him about her. Joe had pressed him to tell him about himself…what he was doing out there…why he was so damn empty…what the hell he'd lost. So Daryl had to tell him something.

And he hadn't lied…not entirely. Omission of the truth was not an absolute lie.

So he'd told Joe about Beth being kidnapped. He'd described the car…he'd told him about how he'd run after the car…he'd let Joe believe what he would about their relationship because sharing more than what Joe wanted to assume would be to pick at scabs that Daryl would rather not pick at in front of the man.

And Joe had said he knew the car…he knew the people that had taken her. He didn't know them personally, but he'd stumbled upon them once or twice and knew that they were a rougher and crueler bunch, even, than Joe and the men that he picked up here and there for whatever the hell kind of group of ruffians that Daryl now belonged to. He'd said that the biggest difference was that while their group, coming up on a woman available to them, would let her live when they'd had their fun…the group that Daryl had described wasn't so kind because they had a certain thirst and lust for blood that went beyond what Joe dared to call the natural callings for men.

The truth was that losing Beth hurt Daryl…but not for the reasons that Joe thought it did.

It had hurt Daryl because she'd been the last remaining link to the life that he'd known with the group before. She'd been the last remaining link to a person that he'd thought he'd become…a person he thought he could be…a person he wanted to be. She had been the last one.

And he'd thought that keeping her safe…maybe it would be a redemption of sorts. Keeping her safe might keep him from ever becoming the man that he used to be…the man that he was becoming…keeping her safe might have saved him from being a failure.

Because he'd failed to keep anyone else safe.

And, in the end, he'd failed to keep her safe too.

He'd managed to fail everyone who ever meant a damn thing to him…and that was why he'd nearly collapsed when Joe had told him about the group that had taken Beth. But he'd never bothered to let Joe know that it had simply been the sealing of his fate as a failure…and the sealing of his fate as the dirty, no good, worthless piece of human flesh that he felt himself to be at the moment.

Joe thought that he had loved her.

And when they talked, sometimes, about women that they had given a shit about…not the women that they had stumbled upon and Daryl had let the others claim because, no matter what kind of trash he was doomed to be he wasn't going to be that kind of trash…Daryl talked and let Joe and whoever listened think that he spoke about Beth.

Because he felt like he really didn't want to say the truth to them…he didn't want to share anything about her…her memory…how he had felt about her…how much he hated himself for never having the balls to admit it…how much he felt he'd let her down and how much he hated that he never could have known where to find her.

He didn't want to say anything about her out loud because he didn't want to even share her memory with Joe and the other men that they stumbled upon and lost from time to time. He didn't want to soil her memory like that. It was something that he kept for himself.

And he had, in their ramblings, led them close to the farmhouse…within seeing distance, but not approaching it…where they had all spent so much time…and he had stood, looking toward the place that lie in shambles, barely recognizable as what it once had been, and he had listened for her voice…expected almost to hear her like he had the night he had taken her away from there just as he was deciding if he would go on alone, that night, because all was lost to him. The night that she'd proved to him, the first of many times, that it wasn't all lost…because he'd found her.

But he never told Joe about her. He let Joe think what he wanted to think because he wasn't willing to share her, not even her memory, with the man.

And that was the real reason, perhaps, that Daryl tried to keep them confused and turned around…barely missing their old camps as they stumbled in looping circles around Georgia...

Rick had never told him where he left her. He'd never even had a starting point to try to find her. And if Rick was telling the truth when he said that she had a car…supplies…that she was gone and she would survive on her own…then she could be anywhere. Because Daryl wanted to believe that she could survive.

But something kept him wandering in the same area as though, somehow, he would trip over her and find her…and no matter how he found her…at least he would know.

"Yeah, I know…" Daryl said, returning the conversation with Joe back to Beth.

Joe nodded his head and stopped their forward movement for a moment, looking around before he took his flask out his pocket and drank a swallow of the liquid there. He offered it to Daryl and Daryl shook his head.

Joe cleared his throat.

"We move out…head on down for warmer weather…" Joe said. "Then…if you still think they somethin' worth havin' here…if you still think it ain't tapped as hell…we wander the fuck back up this way when the spring breaks…"

Daryl looked at the man and felt a little relief wash over him…a little gratefulness.

Going somewhere to hold up for the winter...it wouldn't be that bad and it wouldn't be that tragic. The winter was a time when the whole world seemed to come to a halt and hide away from itself. Even the Walkers seemed to hide out in the winter.

He could stop looking for her for the winter…he could even rest a little because his mind could stop looking for her passively even while it occupied itself with other things actively…because if she was alive, if she survived, she too would be hiding away to let the winter pass.

And they could return in the spring…and Daryl could plan a route during the winter…and once he'd passed the route he would know…he would be sure…that she was really gone and he wasn't going to find her again.

Daryl nodded his head.

"Yeah…hell…let's do it," he said.

Joe smiled and nodded his head, turning back behind them where Zane was taking a piss against a tree, obviously having decided that they were taking a break so he might as well answer the call of nature.

"Zane! Get'cha worthless ass over here!" Joe called.

And after a moment Zane came traipsing over, bent slightly under the weight of the bags that he was carrying since, because of his age and the fact that he was really not as strong a fighter against Walkers as Joe and Daryl were, they used him as something of a pack mule to give him a concreted position in their small group.

"What's up?" Zane asked.

Joe cleared his throat and looked around.

"We headin' into the first damn place we come to…gon' clear out some supplies," Joe said. "Find us a shelter for the night…tomorrow…we headin' down ta Florida for winter…that suit your ass?"

Daryl knew…and he knew that Zane knew…that the question behind "does that suit you" wasn't really about if you had a preference or not. It was always asked as something of a challenge…and it either led to cementing further your allegiance with the group, or it led to you being left behind to find what the hell did suit you. It was asked, primarily, of anyone that Joe didn't consider "important" to him…and Daryl hadn't been asked it in a long damn time.

Zane nodded his head, though. He was barely twenty if he was that and he didn't have a damn thing left in the world…a common theme among men these days in Daryl's opinion…so he probably couldn't give one hot damn if Joe said they were heading down to the coast to drown themselves in the ocean.

"Fine with me, Joe," Zane said. "But…you think we could find me a better blanket while we lookin'? One I got…gotta lotta holes."

Joe chuckled and Daryl couldn't help but be slightly amused.

"Hell…we'll find two," Joe said. "You know the drill…call 'em when ya see 'em…"

And they started walking again, heading off to find what they needed and find shelter for the night…because tomorrow they would probably make it all the way out of Georgia if Daryl was right about where the hell they were and how much ground they managed to cover on a good day.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Here we go, another little chapter. **

**I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! **

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Carol had almost drifted off on the couch, her head tipped back, holding Judith as the little girl slept against her…but she jerked back awake at the sound of a knocking noise.

"Sorry…sorry…" Tyreese said. "Didn't mean to close the door so hard…I wasn't trying to wake you."

Carol shook her head, the only response she could make at the moment.

"It's fine," she said when she got her senses together. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"You must need it," Tyreese offered, putting another piece of the wood into the fireplace.

They had discovered during the early part of the morning that they weren't too far from a town. They were close enough that a run into it would require very little planning ahead of time, and that was a good thing. They could go soon and stock up on everything they figured they might need for the winter.

The only thing they'd brought back with them was some barbed wire that Tyreese had cut from a supply outside the hardware store, rigging it up so that they could drag the weight of it back using straps instead of having to commit to finding a vehicle to move it.

And Tyreese had committed much of the rest of the day to hanging barbed wire. Carol was reminded of that when he came over, without saying anything, and gently took Judith out of her arms to move the girl to the mattress.

She got up, not saying anything and went into the kitchen, putting a pot of water on the stove to warm for him to wash off with…it was nice to bathe when they had the opportunity, and right now they had it.

While Carol leaned against the cabinet, waiting for the water to boil, she daydreamed as she often did…it happened whether you wanted it to or not…and let her mind drift back over so many of the things that they had done to get this far…the things they planned…what winter might be like.

It looked like this house was safe, and it could be as safe as anything they'd found so far, at least for the cold season that would keep Walkers slowed down and less likely to roam.

And that naturally, as it always did, took her back in her mind to the other times that she'd felt safe…even temporarily…since the whole thing had begun. And it reminded her that none of them had really ever been safe. Even the prison…the safest of all…hadn't been safe in the end. She'd been cast out of it, but only to find that it had fallen shortly after anyway.

Tyreese shuffled into the room, quietly pulling out one of the chairs at the table and Carol looked at him, offering him a smile.

"I'm warming water up for you…after you wash off, you'll sleep better," she said, keeping her voice low because of Judith, though the little girl had the ability to sleep through very nearly anything.

Tyreese thanked her, resting his elbows on the table and his face in his hands…ignoring the fact that they were almost in complete darkness except for the little bit of light that flickered in from the fire and that which came from the burning eye on the stove.

The darkness they were accustomed to now often reminded Carol of how wasteful they once were, leaving so many lights on when it really wasn't necessary. You hardly missed the constant glow of lights after a while.

"The fences are going to hold, I think," Tyreese said.

Carol hummed a response. He was making conversation, filling the silence, not really looking for any kind of full out comment from her.

"What were you thinking about?" Tyreese asked.

Carol looked at him.

That was a dangerous question to ask. It was better, really, to never ask that question. She didn't want to answer it most of the time any more than he did…and she knew, and she knew that he knew, that most of the time when they dared to ask it and when they dared to answer it, they answered with a lie.

Because often times what you were really thinking about wasn't something that you wanted to say out loud. It was safer to simply choose something innocuous…or at least as innocuous as possible. It was so much easier to make up a lie that made it seem that your mind took breaks, vacations even, from the horrors that you had stored up there.

Carol shook her head.

"I was…worried about the wells freezing up," she offered, glancing quickly at the water that hadn't begun to boil yet because water took years to boil when you waited on it.

"Probably deep enough not to freeze," Tyreese said. "But if you're worried…when we go for supplies and still a truck or something…we'll stock up on extra water. There's room in the basement."

Carol smiled and nodded.

_Thank you…thank you for comforting my fears, even if they're not really anything that's bothering me. At least there was some comfort to be found. _

"Judith likes it here," Carol said. "She was so happy when we got back from the run today…"

Judith had been thrilled to see them return to the place. She'd seemed pleased to find that the rabbit that Carol had found her, along with a few other toys, were right where she'd left them. She'd been pleased to see that the bed was there for her nap.

She could seem so happy because she understood so little about the world around her.

Tyreese chuckled lightly at the comment.

"I like it here," he admitted. "I was happy when we got back from the run."

And Carol couldn't help but chuckle because she understood what he was saying. The house felt safe…and warm…and comfortable. It was a contrast from some of the things they had seen and some of the places they had stopped at along the way. And returning to a place after you'd left it made it seem more like it was yours to begin with.

"The fences are safe…the house is safe…it'll be a good winter," Tyreese said.

Carol nodded.

"You're right," she said, transferring the pot away from the eye. "It'll be a good winter…we can hope for the best. Water's hot…"

Tyreese got up from the chair that he was in and slid it back under the table as though keeping house were of concern to him now. He came over and took the towel out of her hand, the one she'd been using all day to move things around while she cooked, and wrapped it around the handle of the pot to take it to the little bathroom they'd chosen for washing up in.

"Any coffee? Tea? Anything?" Tyreese asked.

Carol nodded.

"We have some tea," she offered.

"Would you mind? Warming some water up for it?" Tyreese asked.

Carol shook her head and Tyreese thanked her before he left with the water to wash off and change into clean clothes.

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Later Carol sat across the table from Tyreese, one of the oil lamps they'd found in the house burning low between them, closer to him, while she listened to him read to her from a book that they'd found.

They'd never done this before, but neither of them were particularly tired.

Or rather, Carol wasn't particularly tired and was oddly rejuvenated from her power nap putting Judith to sleep. She suspected that Tyreese was more tired than he let on, but he'd offered to stay up with her, declaring that he wasn't tired and taking turns reading the book back and forth to each other would be a way to pass the time…especially given that if the house was as safe as they suspected it might be, they may have a lot of time to kill this winter.

The tea was stale, but it was warm…and Carol had discovered that sometimes even drinking just plain warm water and pretending it was tea was soothing, so the beverage wasn't too disappointing.

And Tyreese had a nice reading voice, even if Carol found it difficult to fully focus on the words and let her brain create the images he was painting for her.

"I was thinking," Tyreese said, interrupting the melodic flow of the reading. It took Carol a moment to stop trying to picture what he was saying and to understand that he was speaking, now with the book half closed around his finger on the table in front of him. "Carol…we don't have to leave her with the spring. I can fortify these fences…we can set up other defenses around them…we can expand them even…build a small barn. We look for animals…grow food…we don't have to leave."

Carol sucked in a breath and gave him the only expression that she could at the moment.

He shook his head in response to her, understanding what the look meant.

The last time they had discussed staying in a place…the last time they had thought that it might be a good idea…it might be a new life, and maybe it could be a good life…things had gone so terribly wrong.

"It's not like that anymore," Tyreese said softly, still shaking his head. "It's just you and me…and Jude…we could make it work. It could be a quiet life…a good life."

Carol swallowed and covered up the feelings that naturally stirred inside her when she thought about what had happened before by drinking more of the tea that was cooling down to taste worse than before.

"Carol…what kind of life do we have if we just keep moving? We're not going anywhere," Tyreese offered. "There's nowhere else to go. At least…at least we could give Judith something of a normal life."

Carol sighed.

Because what he said made sense. What he said was something that she thought about sometimes. They weren't going anywhere. They were wandering, and sometimes she thought that the wandering made life more bearable…because it always felt like you were maybe heading toward something, even if you didn't know what it was. But other times she thought the wandering made it all that much more depressing…because you knew, deep down, you weren't headed toward anything.

And Judith deserved as much of a normal life as she could have, not that anything these days could be considered truly normal.

She shook her head slightly at Tyreese, but she couldn't form words to say to him because she didn't have any distinct words there. What was there to say, really?

_I want this normal life that you speak about…I dream about the normal just like you do…but I naturally reject it because I don't believe anymore that the normal exists…I don't believe it's mine to have…maybe I don't believe that I even deserve it. _

She didn't know what to say to him. So she only responded by shaking her head slightly, not committing in either way to his suggestion.

He looked at her a moment, slid the hand not holding the book across the table and took her hand, pulling it toward him and closing it up almost entirely in his. He rubbed his thumb across the top of her hand and nodded his head at her.

"Just think about it, OK?" He said. "The winter will be long…and there will be plenty of time. We don't have to decide tonight…or even tomorrow…"

Carol just nodded her head slightly at him and moved her hand to a position where she could offer his a quick squeeze before she withdrew it.

She'd think about it. She couldn't help but to think about it.

Tyreese took another swallow of his own cooling tea and opened the book again without saying anything else about his proposition, and Carol sunk back in her chair, watching his face as he read aloud the words that her mind wanted so badly to focus on, but couldn't quite find the ability to do so.

Because now she was trying to figure out why exactly it was that she was even fighting at all the idea of a quiet life if it was hers to be had.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Here we go, another little chapter. **

**I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! **

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Carol hadn't meant to yelp at all when the snake fell out of the small, rickety shack that she was investigating in hopes of finding more tools to offer to Tyreese since their search of the house had yielded little and he was tinkering with the generator in an attempt to get them at least some electricity.

They could make a run for tools…but that would be something that would have to be left for the following day, since they wouldn't risk getting caught outside the safe space with Judith if they could avoid it altogether, and Carol thought that maybe the little building might have something to offer them…and anyway…they needed to see what was in there.

So she'd put Judith down to play in the yard with some slightly rusted trucks that had been left there by whatever child had once called the place home, and she'd gone to explore.

Being well aware that Walkers came in all shapes and sizes and tended to be like morbid jack in the boxes, Carol had pushed up the wooden lever, unlocking the door, with a broom handle after knocking on the door a few times and then she'd let the door gently swing open just a crack on its own.

The building was small enough that there were no Walkers "hiding" in there and Carol knew that without a shadow of a doubt. If any had somehow ended up locked in there it would have escaped at the cracking of the door without the knocking probably just seeking freedom and the smell that Carol put off…one she felt was probably pungent after all the small jobs here and there they'd been putting in that day around their new abode.

She stepped in front of the door and pulled it open and that's when the heavy coil of snake fell out, obviously having been resting against the door, and landed on her foot, causing the yelp and driving her to back up out of surprise fast enough that she caught one of her feet behind the other and hit the ground harder than her pride wanted her to.

Tyreese had dropped what he was doing and made it over to the barn, already hacking off the head of the offending animal before Carol could even gain her feet again. She limped over to him, trying to ignore the fact that in the fall she was fairly confident she'd wrenched her knee.

Tyreese was panting…the pant of panic and quick response, which was the only way they functioned these days. It was wired into them to react first and ask questions later.

Even those who had been the most carefully considering people before had been turned, or so Carol imagined, into those who knew that time was of the essence. Things just had to happen fast…there wasn't time for hesitation.

Seeing, though, that any real tragedy had been avoided, Tyreese leaned down and picked up the murdered snake by its tail, holding it out in front of him.

"Do we eat it?" He asked.

Carol regarded it. She knew that people did eat snake…but she had really no idea how one went about doing so.

"Do you know how to cook it?" She asked.

Tyreese chuckled and spun the dead animal a bit in his hand, still examining it.

"No…" he admitted. "I know you can eat snakes…but I don't know if you can eat all snakes. I don't know if you can eat every type."

This was information that Carol had missed along the way in her life as well.

"What type is it?" She asked.

For her there had always been snakes…and she'd bothered to learn very little else about them.

"The dead type," Tyreese said, matter of factly before his composed face gave way to a smile. "Better not to eat it. Slim times on meat…but I don't want to risk making us sick."

He took the snake and Carol stood in place beside the little shack or tool shed or whatever the little barn like building had been. She watched him as he slung it over the fence nearest them and walked back toward her, wiping his hand on his pants as he came.

"You OK?" He asked. "Didn't get bit?"

Carol shook her head.

"I'm just fine," she said. She hopped toward the little building, biting back the feeling at whatever damage she'd done to the knee…the knee that had been injured more than a handful of times in her life…and moved toward her intended inspection of the building.

But just as she heaved herself into the dark space, she felt Tyreese's hand close around her arm and she turned back to look at him.

He shook his head at her.

"Get out of there…" he said. "You're hurt and we're calling it a day. There's nothing I can do to that generator without a run and we can't go on a run if you're hurt and pushing yourself."

Carol frowned at him.

"It's nothing," she said. "I just fell wrong…my knee's just tricky sometimes…"

He nodded his head.

"Maybe so…I've got one of those myself…but all the same, we're done for the night. It'll be dark soon," Tyreese said.

Carol sighed but she didn't argue with him and she let him help her out of the building. He closed the door back up and dropped the piece of wood into place, locking it and walked beside her as they went to break it to Judith that she had to abandon her rusty, barely rolling trucks for the evening in exchange for a bath and whatever meal got thrown together.

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"You're worse than a kid," Tyreese teased Carol.

He'd insisted on examining her knee in the lamplight and she'd fought him at first, but she'd given into him finally, knowing that he wouldn't leave her alone until he'd seen for himself that it was nothing and that by morning she would likely even forget that she'd hurt it.

"I hurt mine when I was young," Tyreese said, gently massaging the swollen area in a way that Carol knew was to bring inflammation down…she'd done it herself and in the absence of ice it was about the best they could get. "I played high school football…worst thing there could be for knees sometimes…"

Carol smiled at him when he looked at her.

"I could see you playing football," Carol said.

"What about this?" He asked. "Old sports injury? This isn't the first time this knee's been hurt…"

Carol sighed and leaned back on the pillow that was behind her on the couch, relaxing into the moment a little more than she had before. She had told Tyreese about Ed…as in she'd told him that she'd had a husband…she'd told him a little about him…but she'd never told him some of the darker aspects of her relationship with the man.

"Old husband injury," she said, watching his eyes for a flicker of judgment that she'd come to expect. It had always been there when someone found out about Ed…but there wasn't any such judgment there that she could see, though Tyreese's expression changed a little and he paused before resuming the gentle rubbing around her slightly swollen knee cap.

He nodded his head gently after a second.

"But you loved him?" Tyreese asked.

And that wasn't a question that Carol had been asked much in her life. Usually people skipped right over that part.

"I did…" she admitted. "Sometimes…"

And she already knew that if he was going to judge her, that would be the line that brought it on…if that didn't, nothing would. Because you weren't supposed to love your abuser. You were supposed to hate them…and though there had been times that she had felt like she hated Ed…there had been times that she had loved him too, whether it was right or wrong in the eyes of the person who questioned her about the relationship.

But Tyreese didn't say anything at all. He just nodded his head at her and reached toward the table where he'd ripped up an old pillow case to serve as a compression wrap since they lacked some such things in their scanty medical supplies.

"Do you still think about him?" Tyreese asked.

Carol chuckled.

"What do you think?" She challenged.

"The good and the bad," Tyreese said. "Neither ever leaves us…I was married, you know? Before all of this…"

"I didn't know…" Carol said.

Tyreese nodded his head.

"Your wife…" Carol started, not knowing if she wanted to ask the question really. Tyreese knew enough about Ed to know that he died when all of this had happened. She'd mentioned that…she'd thrown it in as random fact once. And he knew about Sophia.

But she'd never known that he'd been married. He hadn't thrown that in. She'd supposed, and she realized it was foolish now that she thought about it, that maybe Karen had been some kind of first love for him…but a man like Tyreese, she thought now, was probably not a man who had made it all way to the end of the world without ever drawing any female attention at all.

He shook his head at her, wrapping her knee with the skill of someone who has done this many more times than just once or twice in passing.

"Before," he said. "Cancer…she never knew about all of this…"

Carol nodded her head, but he wasn't looking at her.

"I'm sorry…" she offered softly.

Tyreese looked at her then, smiling faintly.

"Don't be," he said. "Honestly…I'm glad that she went that way…it could have been…worse."

And Carol felt like she almost choked on the irony. In the world before all of this had happened, cancer was one of the worst things that you could think of. It had been a word that struck horror into anyone, and rightfully so. But perspectives changed once you'd seen what happened to people now. The deaths these days may be quicker…and in that way much more humane…but they were often bloody and brutal and terrorizing.

When Tyreese finished wrapping her knee, holding the makeshift bandage in place with a piece of the tape he tore off with his teeth, he patted her leg and moved down the pants leg of the oversized pajama pants that she was wearing…the first set of pajamas she'd dared to wear since the prison.

"Should be a little better in the morning," Tyreese said. "But take it easy tomorrow. I can make the run on my own."

Carol shook her head at him to protest the suggestion and he chuckled lightly.

"Carol…we've been out how many times since we got here?" Tyreese asked.

And it was true. It was difficult to say how long they'd been staying in the house, but it had been a while now…the winter moving in with more vengeance around them…and they'd made the trek with Judith in tow to the town more times than Carol could count.

Each time they'd found the town like they'd left it before…abandoned. There was no sign of any kind of life there and the place was pretty well stocked as far as towns went these days…they'd certainly seen their share of towns that had been picked to bare bones. It was as if they were right. They really were the only ones left alive, maybe in all the world, but certainly in their immediate surroundings.

"I don't like when you go alone…" Carol said.

Tyreese raised his eyebrows at her.

"And I don't like when we go together," Tyreese said. He sucked in a breath and let it out more slowly than just a regular breath might have been released. He glanced toward the mattress on the floor where Judith was asleep, her rabbit tucked under her arm. "If it was just us…" Tyreese said, he broke off and he chuckled quietly. "I'd piggy back you if you wanted to go that bad…but…we have to think about Judith. We're all she's got and she needs at least one of us to stay with her, where there aren't as many threats. We owe that to her."

Carol understood what he was saying. There was no real reason to anticipate trouble, but it was always a possibility. There was always the chance that something could happen.

And if something were to happen, at least there would be Judith here, in the safety of their little oasis they'd found, and at least she would have somebody.

"Tyreese," Carol said, "we're all Judith's got…but we're not going to live forever…"

She wondered sometimes what kind of life it would be for Judith. She wondered if really there would be any kind of life for the girl…because if they really were all that was left, she would be alone in the world when they died, no matter their cause of death.

Tyreese nodded his head and offered a flash of teeth in the lamplight.

"And that's all the more reason to stay safe," Tyreese said. "For as long as we can…"

And at the words, Carol's heart clenched a little.

_Stay safe. Stay safe for Judith…_

_Because the one who had told her to stay safe…to stay safe for him…was gone. _

_Now there was just stay safe…for Judith._

When Carol couldn't find words to answer him at that moment, she just nodded and he took that for all that it was worth.

"Come on," he said. "Let's sleep."

"You take the mattress," Carol said. "I'm fine here."

Tyreese shook his head.

"I'll help you get down there if you need me to," he said. "But you're going to be stiff enough tomorrow as it is. You don't need the added benefit of sleeping on the couch."

"You're the one going to make the run tomorrow," Carol countered, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You go voluntarily or involuntarily," Tyreese said with a smile. "Fact remains…I'm big enough to put you down there just I put like Jude down there."

Carol chuckled to herself and shook her head.

"I'll keep my dignity," she said, carefully turning to get up from the couch. She paused for a moment realizing the whole couch to standing, standing to floor thing wasn't going to be the smoothest transition she'd ever made with her knee as well bound as Tyreese had done it. "I will…however…allow you to help me…"

Tyreese chuckled and got up, offering her a hand and thanking her for allowing him to be of assistance in the transition to her sleeping quarters.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Here we go, another little chapter. Trigger warning for those who need it for allusion to/discussion of rape. Nothing graphic at all.**

**I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think! **

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"We gotta talk about this shit…ya damn near broke Jensen's jaw…" Joe called out as he came near where Daryl had moved his shit, far outside the bunch of others, not even caring that he'd have to watch his own damn back all night.

What Joe said was the truth…or at least Daryl assumed it was. He had nearly broken Jensen's jaw…though he'd thought, and he was a little disappointed to find out otherwise, that he had actually completely broken it.

That hadn't been his intention, though. His intention had been to cave in the fucker's skull…so he considered coming out of it with busted knuckles, which he was messily wrapping for himself now, and letting Jensen come out of it with nothing more than a nearly broken jaw was actually being kind and generous on his part.

Joe came right over to him and leaned down, taking on the stance of a parent leaning to talk to a child.

"Been a long damn time since I let'cha ass get kicked for breakin' the damn rules," Joe said, sucking his teeth. "Has it been too damn long?"

Daryl narrowed his eyes at Joe, but made no other response. He turned his attention back to finishing up the wrapping of his hand in silence.

Joe, apparently understanding that Daryl wasn't much in the mood for conversation but not caring, came closer and sat down on the ground next to him, pulling out his knife and using the very tip of it to clean under his fingernails that were almost stained black from all the disgusting gunk they accumulated as they travelled on.

Daryl didn't have a clue where they were anymore…at least not with any precision. The winter was set in pretty strong around them but the climate where they were was a little warmer than what he thought Georgia might be boasting at the time.

Basically all he knew at this point was that they were headed south, they stopped here and there when they found decent shelter, which was a lot more rare than they thought it would be, and that the further south they went, the more he expected to walk boldly through the actual mouth of hell at any point.

Because there were a lot more people in this area than there had been when they'd left…and more people wasn't the blessing that it might seem to be.

Daryl didn't talk to many of the people that they encountered. He had no desire to get to know anyone anymore. When he saw people walking around, even though there was still air in their lungs and life in their bodies, all he saw was walking corpses. Because they weren't dead yet, but they'd be dead soon enough…or some of them not quite soon enough.

What they learned from the groups of people…tribes…whatever the hell you wanted to call it these days, was that there had been strong rumor at one point that there was a military or a government safe hold just on the Florida coast. A real mecca of sorts for those looking to get back to the life they'd lost so abruptly when the world turned on its head.

Except, apparently, there wasn't shit there. In fact, there wasn't shit at all left hardly anywhere, and that included where they were now. The whole place had been torn apart, burned to the ground, destroyed by one group of ruffians or another or trashed by turf wars and waging people left without policing and left without any sense of how to act now that there was no one watching them to make sure they didn't let out the most sinister parts of themselves.

Their group, as they'd travelled, had acquired six new members. It had, actually, acquired one more than that…but the man had killed Zane a while back over an imagined dispute over some stupid ass claim for just more shit in the world and they'd dealt with him accordingly, helping him to rid himself of his so-called Earthly coils.

And Daryl couldn't say, even though he barely bothered to get to know them, that he was even halfway fond of any of the six new people in the group.

But he damn near hated Jensen and Bradley.

Hate was a particularly strong word for Daryl. He used it in regard to things that he hated…but he seldom employed it for people. People, he figured, that you hated…if you really hated them…were of a variety of beings that hardly merited the description of human.

But the way he saw it, Jensen and Bradley both fell right on into that category. And the only damn reason that he hadn't killed them yet was because the penalty for murder in the group was death.

But he'd given it a good damn go tonight.

"You know the rules, Daryl," Joe said after a moment. "Violence…especially without cause…just ain't allowed. If we let that shit go on…got damn anarchy on our hands…"

"I know the fuckin' rules…an' it weren't without cause," Daryl growled back.

Joe chuckled.

Daryl knew that Joe didn't want to kick his ass and he didn't want to let anyone else in the group kick his ass either…they'd become, essentially, partners in this whole damn thing because they seemed to be the only two that had the one thing in common…they could outlive all the other assholes that came and went. Still, in title, Joe was the leader and he was more or less the supreme voice.

"Why the hell'd ya do it, then?" Joe asked.

"He weren't followin' the damn rules…" Daryl said. "That woman ain't had no damn chance…he broke the fuckin' rules an' then on top a' that he fuckin' tried ta kill her…"

Joe sucked his teeth.

"Now you done turned her loose out there alone…you think that ain't a death sentence?" Joe asked.

"It ain't the way we fuckin' do things," Daryl growled.

The rules regarding women that they came across…particularly women who had been separated off from their groups, were travelling alone, or appeared to have no other support system in place were, if a little twisted, simple enough.

Daryl didn't care for them, but for the most part he didn't get too pissed off for them as long as they were followed.

When they came across a woman that appeared to have been abandoned, separated, or split off…someone was allowed to claim her if they had the desire, and there was always some damn body that had the desire.

And usually she came willingly enough with them, though Daryl imagined a good damn bit of it could be owing to the fact that their nasty ass group, along with bringing with them a pungent odor of sweat, Walker guts, and whatever other disgusting mess they'd encountered since the last time they found a place to bathe, was a little intimidating and would be even more so to a woman alone.

Still, she went with them…escorted by her claimer…and she was given the offer…it was the same offer to every damn woman.

You go with us…we'll feed your ass…protect you, at least as much as anyone could offer protection these days…and when you're ready to go we'll turn you loose just as good as we found you, maybe even better.

The only catch was that as long as she agreed to take the gifts bestowed upon her by her claimer…her savior depending on the circumstances in which they found her…she agreed to be his entirely and no other man had the right to so much as look at her ass sideways without risking a blow to the head.

Daryl had never participated in the ritual himself…but he'd seen it happen a good number of times. Hell…even Zane had claimed for himself what Daryl had considered to be a girl, though she was at least twenty five and older than Zane…back somewhere around the Georgia line.

He didn't find it particularly to his tastes…but he couldn't quite form any kind of decent ass argument against it when they dropped the chick off wherever the hell she found some group she'd rather go with and that was the end of the shit.

However…Jensen hadn't followed those rules. And the woman that he'd brought back to camp had not come, in any possible way imaginable, of her own volition.

And it had pissed Daryl off because he'd had enough of Jensen…and of his buddy Bradley by extension.

Every last one of them, himself included, might be a sorry excuse for a human being…and they might have lived out on the far edge of the society they'd once known…but those two were just a toe over the line.

"Man does things a lil' different," Joe admitted. "But technically we ain't said they couldn't do it that way…"

"Maybe we oughta…'cause he an' his pal seems ta be the only damn two that don't figure out how shit works," Daryl argued back.

Joe sucked his teeth and hummed something that was nothing more than a noncommittal noise.

"Times is changin'…" Joe said.

Daryl chuckled ironically.

"World's gone ta shit…so we might as well go with it," he muttered.

"I'll talk to 'em," Joe said. "But'cha can't go beatin' on people…how the fuck are we gonna say that they can't do what the hell they prob'ly been doing the whole damn time if you can't control ya damn temper?"

Daryl shook his head, but it was too dark for Joe to have seen it even if he was looking for it.

"He ain't followed the damn rules an' I called him on it," Daryl said as his final words on the subject.

And Joe hummed something else that Daryl hoped was his understanding that this was something he wasn't backing down from.

They weren't award winning human beings by any means…but they'd broken no real laws, if laws were still in place, and they really weren't doing any real harm to anyone if they stayed the hell out of their way and didn't start fucking with them first.

They weren't philanthropists, but they weren't rapists, murders, or thieves either…and Daryl figured that if any among them got a hankering to be that type, they ought to be dealt with accordingly.

Joe didn't say anything else about the incident, though…and Daryl doubted he would. He'd talk to them…probably spell out the rules for them…and they'd get another chance. That would be the name of the game for the time being.

When Joe didn't speak again but showed no signs of leaving, though, Daryl took the opportunity to voice more of his concerns.

"What the hell we doin' here, Joe?" Daryl asked. "Let's turn an' head back on up ta where we come from…"

Joe chuckled.

"That girl's dead, Daryl…" Joe said. "That the reason ya busted Jensen's jaw?"

Daryl grunted and sat back harder against the tree behind him than he meant to. Joe took out his flask and sucked down a swallow before offering it to Daryl. Daryl took it this time and filled his mouth with the burning liquid, shuddering as he swallowed it down.

Maybe there was something to what Joe said…maybe he'd busted Jensen's jaw…not for Beth…not even for Carol. Maybe he'd busted Jensen's jaw for any woman that could have been vulnerable…could have been in a bad damn place.

Because, in Daryl's mind, Carol was still out there. She was out there…and since he had no other way to imagine her…she was alone. She was wandering around, surviving somehow, alone…

And he hated to think that some damn asshole like Jensen could come up and think he had a right to, not even offer her something in exchange for what the hell he wanted…drive up a bargain she was willing to take, but that he could simply take it for the sheer damn fact that he wanted it and he thought that his ability to claim one moth eaten blanket over another extended to his damn right to claim another human being.

So maybe there was something personal in what he'd done…maybe there was something beyond just the principle of the fact. But the principle was there, just the same.

"She's dead…fine," Daryl said. "Busted his damn jaw on principle. She don't mind fuckin' ya for what the hell ya give her…ain't nothin' but business…tradin' shit out…what the hell ever…but what the hell he was gonna do? Ain't no damn trade."

"So it ain't about her? Ain't about Beth?" Joe asked.

Daryl chuckled ironically.

"No…Joe…ain't about Beth," Daryl said.

"That why the hell ya damn anxious head our asses back toward where we come from already?" Joe asked.

Daryl hummed at him.

"No…ain't about Beth," he repeated.

Joe made another noise. He was probably torn…because he didn't want to believe Daryl, but Daryl knew his tone had indicated nothing but honesty…because he was being honest. He wasn't hell bent and determined to get his ass back to Georgia by spring thaw because of Beth.

"Ain't shit here," Daryl said. "Not a damn thing…look around. We been walkin' three damn days ain't even seen a barn…or a house…not even a damn shed. We was better off in Georgia an' you know it. Stayin' here…that's the dumb idea…go farther south? Why? You think all them damn people we seen comin' back…headin' where the hell we comin' from…they all lyin' when they say they ain't shit there? We need ta head our asses back where we come from…an' the sooner the better. Can't even find shelter here."

Joe didn't respond in any way. They sat there long enough, both of them leaning back against the tree, that Daryl might have thought the man had fallen asleep and that was the reason for his silence. But Joe drank from the flask again and offered it once more to Daryl…and he refused it…signaling that he was awake.

"Fine," Joe said. "Tomorrow when we break camp…we head back."

Without saying anything else, Joe got up from the spot he had been sitting in and he sauntered back in the direction of the half ass camp they had set up, marked only by the flicker of a low burning fire and the silhouettes of bodies around it.

Daryl leaned his head back against the tree, trying to decide if he was going to move closer and sleep some…or if he was just going to stay up keeping watch over himself to avoid entirely the company of the men for the rest of the night.

At least tomorrow they would turn back…and if he was half the tracker that he thought he was, by spring he'd find just where the hell he'd left off looking before they'd begun this delightful little excursion.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Here we go, another little chapter. **

**I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! **

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The brain is a part of the body that it is very easy to believe is actually a separate entity from yourself…something completely detached from the rest of you.

Because the brain is a master of torture and cruelly chooses to torture you, though you are supposed to be one and the same, more often than seems really even admissible.

And your brain, unfortunately, as your torturer has at its tools each and every experience, thought, and feeling that you've ever had to use against you. Because no matter what you might cover from another person, you can never hide anything from yourself.

And it will use, ruthlessly, anything against you can. It will use your anger…your guilt…your insecurities…your embarrassment…your sadness…and it will even use your happiness against you to remind you that, by essence of the happiness pulled up being only a memory, you are without it now and you may remain without it forever.

The brain, too, enacts its torture best when you are idle…and finding that one method of torture has been repeated so often that you have momentarily become numb to it, it will change its course of attack…and the best time, it seems, for it to begin its work is when you are sleeping and more vulnerable to everything that it can draw up and change to its will.

And its attacks, perhaps, always seemed to be worse and more frequent when there was a lull in your life and otherwise you might have gone on peacefully and without suffering.

Nightmares were not strangers to Carol nor Tyreese and many nights they were drawn to each others' sides to shake awake the sufferer and break the chain of visions, ending however briefly, the suffering.

_Carol dreamed of him often…more often than she ever even wanted to admit to herself. And the dreams came with a myriad of emotions, but it seemed that they always ended badly. Somehow, whether or not there were pleasant moments that her memory had to offer of him, somewhere the dream took a turn and it became something else entirely._

_She knew that she had loved him. She had loved him much more than she'd ever intended to love him and she'd never let it be known, entirely, the way that she felt. She'd always held it back…willing to suffer in silence. Because, even though she thought that he loved her too, she felt that he never loved her in the same way._

_Her mind played, so many times, the night that she'd first realized he would never see her the same way that she'd seen him. He would never love her the way that she'd loved him…and it was the night that she'd struggled, through her own pain and embarrassment, to accept it and to pretend that he hadn't hurt her without even meaning to._

_Because she'd been presumptuous…and perhaps arrogant._

_And she'd brought him food on top of an old bus…making sure he ate when he would have otherwise gone hungry…and she'd asked him, daring to step out there and take a chance, if he wanted to fool around…_

_She'd disguised it just enough as a joke so that if he reacted the way that he had reacted, she could laugh it off. It was just a joke…just like he'd taken it. It was just a joke because she knew, or rather his reaction would tell her, that the only way he would ever think of her physically and sexually was just that…a joke. _

_And there had been many jokes after that. She'd replayed and repeated the theme in an almost desperate attempt to hide how she'd really felt about it. Keep joking because then he'll see you're laughing…keep joking because he likes the joke and it's funny to him…keep joking so he'll never realize that you know that the joke's on you…_

_And when her cruel mind offered her up the full weight of her embarrassment over having been so presumptuous…the full weight of her embarrassment when she realized that she'd been foolish enough to even think of throwing something like that out there to him…that he might be interested in her…she fought against the embarrassment and the shame that she would do something so ridiculous. _

_And she fought, every time she replayed the moment in her head, against the sinking sadness she'd felt when she realized that she could love him as much as she had…more than she'd ever meant to love him or anyone else…and he would never love her back. At least, he would never love her that way…_

"Easy…easy…hush…it's OK…" Tyreese's voice came in a hoarse and croaking whisper and Carol came toward the sound, almost violently coming into consciousness.

Her heart was aching…it always ached when she had dreams like that, and she was sure she knew what the dream had been about, or at least had the gist of it, even though she could barely remember even a second of what she'd been seeing just moments before.

Tyreese moved away from her now that she was awake and she took the moment to run her hands over the blanket and the mattress…to remember where she was now and how she'd gotten there. It had been left, in the aftermath of the dream, so far away from her for the time.

There were sparks and flickering and the thump of work being done in the fireplace nearby and before Carol knew it, the small fire that had burned down to embers was rising up and licking at the newly placed logs, illuminating Tyreese's profile between herself and the structure.

Carol glanced beside her where Judith was sleeping, not having woken with the noise and whatever fighting that she'd done that had roused Tyreese from his sleeping on the couch, and she reached over, tucking the rabbit back under the girl's arm and making sure the blankets that had shifted were back in place.

Tyreese turned toward her, sitting then on the floor with his back to the fire that somewhat illuminated him.

"I'm fine…" Carol said, her own voice croaking out with sleep like his had. "Thank you…you can go back to sleep…"

"Was only halfway sleeping myself," Tyreese admitted, making no move to get up from his newly adopted position. "I had one too…woke me up. I probably wouldn't have heard you if it hadn't."

Carol frowned to herself.

Sometimes they shared their nightmares, other times they didn't. They'd made it something voluntary. If you wanted to share…if you wanted to try to exorcise the demon…then you shared. If you didn't, then it was yours to keep. Life was too short to force someone to relive whatever hell went on in their heads if they didn't want to do it.

"Dreamed about Sasha," Tyreese offered after a moment of silence. "She was…I could hear her. She was calling out…but it was at the prison…I don't even know what was happening because I was in the prison and it was dark and I couldn't hear anything…but I could hear her…"

He broke off and after a moment he chuckled ironically.

"Worse thing? Worse thing is that I feel stupid saying it was a nightmare…" Tyreese said.

"There aren't any stupid nightmares," Carol offered.

Tyreese hummed.

"Yeah…but I could hear her…and she was laughing about something," he said. He chuckled again. "She was laughing…and I think she was talking…to another woman, but I don't know who."

He broke off again and Carol watched him shift his weight around, changing the position of his legs.

"How can you say you had a nightmare because you heard someone being happy?" He asked.

"Anything can be a nightmare," Carol offered with a sigh. "It just depends…maybe on how you see it…or how you think about it? I don't know…"

Tyreese grunted and nodded his head and Carol saw him bring a hand up to scrub at his face before he yawned.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked through the tail end of the yawn.

Carol shook her head and he responded by nodding his.

"Well…it got cold in here…" he offered, looking over his shoulder at the fire that was burning much better now.

Carol nodded.

As the winter was waging on they'd become shut ins for the most part. It was "bone cold" as she'd heard it called by her grandmother.

The house wasn't warm either, not by any real means, but they kept most of it shut off so that their living room…and that was the main room that they stayed in…was warm and the kitchen was somewhat warm as well. They often left the little door open to the bathroom that they used, just off the entrance hall, open so that it would be warm enough that they could wash off with the water they heated without freezing.

But even with the fire burning in the fireplace most of the day, the space wasn't extremely warm. The house was old and air found its way in through the cracks. And when they went outside, chopping wood, stacking it, and carrying it inside…or when they went out to get water…gusts of air infiltrated their space.

They'd been lucky enough to find enough quilts and blankets, though, that they could pile up and keep their beds fairly warm so that they didn't always wake up with the cold when the fire died down during the night.

And whether or not their wardrobes were stylish or well-fitting, the house had boasted enough clothes that they piled up and Carol, to fill her time during the days, spent a good bit of her time altering what they had found so that it fit them all better, especially since the children's clothes that were there were drastically too large for Judith's frame.

"Fire's burning now," Carol said. "It'll be warm before long…"

But that didn't stop her from shivering just at giving full conscious recognition to the fact that she was cold.

She reached again and reassured herself, though she already knew it to be the case, that Judith was covered well enough.

"She can sleep through anything," Tyreese said, groaning a little as he got up now from his position.

Carol nodded.

"She can…but she's always had to," Carol said.

"She feels safe," Tyreese said. "Sleeping down there with you…she doesn't even cry like she used to. Can you remember the last time she cried? I mean really cried?"

"She cried the last time you went on a run," Carol offered. "Until I convinced her you were coming right back."

Tyreese laughed low in his throat while he shuffled around, settling back under the stack of quilts that weighed him down while he slept.

"She cries when you leave too," he offered. "But I don't count that as crying…"

He yawned again and Carol saw him swipe at his face, a normal action for him whenever he was just waking up…or just before he got tired enough to fall asleep wherever he was, even if he was sitting up in the chair.

"You don't count it?" Carol asked, slightly amused and thankful for the conversation that had her feeling relaxed again. She lie down, hugging her pillow up under her and arranged her own blankets, facing her body toward him so that she could still see him somewhat over the coffee table.

"No…" he muttered. "I don't count it if it's crying for something normal…"

He broke off for a second and Carol waited to see if he had fallen asleep. It took her a while to get to sleep, no matter how tired she was, but Tyreese could be snoring within seconds, or so it seemed, when he made up his mind to sleep.

"These days," he said suddenly, another yawn trailing after the words, "it's almost a blessing to cry for something as simple as your parents going away…and then coming back."

Carol hummed.

"I guess you're right," she said, finally giving into her own desire to yawn, fueled by the repetition of the action that Tyreese was giving into much more easily.

Tyreese fell silent after a moment and Carol waited, but he didn't speak again. It wasn't too long before she heard the first sounds of his snore starting up…a sound that would grow in volume as he slept…and then she closed her own eyes, knowing that her own sleep would take a little longer to come.

But she hoped, at least, that when it did wash back over her it came without the feeling of wanting to yank her own heart out of her chest…or the feeling of wanting to go back into the memory that she had and run away, looking for cover from her own mortification.

She tried, instead of letting it take over, to focus on things that wouldn't bring about such dreams. She told herself what she'd do when the sun came up…thought about the laundry that needed to be washed…laundry she'd wash in the metal tub that they'd found on a run with the water they heated on the stove…thought about Judith sleeping happily beside her…thought about how happy the little girl seemed here, almost seeming to have forgotten entirely, if she'd ever even been fully aware of it, of all the horrors that waited just outside the fences they checked daily, now surrounded by a stake system that stopped even the few curious and half frozen Walkers that toddled toward them.

And finally, after going over and over her mental checklist in her mind of all the things she needed to do…warmed as much as she could ever expect to be warmed by the quilts and the fire burning close behind her…Carol felt herself floating off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Here we go, another little chapter. **

**I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! **

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Carol could see Tyreese coming down the line, clearing his part of the stake system just outside the fences far faster than she was. He'd overcome the "half" mark already and would catch up with her in no time.

As much as they pretended that they were equals…as much as they might pretend with everything that they were partners and neither had any clear advantage over the other…the fact still remained that Tyreese was bigger and physically stronger than Carol would ever be.

And the stupid Walker that she was fighting with, already put down and hanging with his full weight on the stake in front of her, was proving it even more now.

Every now and again they repeated this ritual. They came out, divided the fence area in half and worked toward one another with Judith toddling around inside the fences, calling to one or the other of them as they worked because she was imprisoned inside fences that allowed her to see them, but not to really be with them.

Then, all Walkers removed from the stake system they'd build to keep them off the fences, they would drag the corpses to the two pits that they'd dug to keep the fire from escaping and then Carol would burn them…since Tyreese found that part particularly disagreeable and she didn't push it.

Carol was still fighting with the limp Walker when Tyreese reached her, his chest heaving from the exertion of having cleared the other stakes in record time. He stopped, wrapping a hand around one of the wooden pikes, and supported himself for a moment as she continued to wrestle with the body that she couldn't move…she couldn't push it up, which she tried, and she couldn't pull it and rip the stake through it, which she'd also tried…so now she was trying to get under the Walker and use her full weight to push it up.

Tyreese chuckled.

"Got himself good and stuck?" Tyreese asked, his breathing ragged and probably only intensified by the icy quality of the air.

"Yeah," Carol grunted out from her position.

"Leave it…I'll get him…take a break…" Tyreese panted out.

"I can get it…" Carol said, immediately realizing she sounded like a small child trying to insist that you not help them with something they clearly needed help with.

Tyreese chuckled.

"I mean it…he's taller than I am and he's probably stuck through the ribs…I'll get it," Tyreese offered.

Carol sighed and gave up, crawling from her uncomfortable position under the decomposed corpse. She didn't want Tyreese, anyway, to see that her arms were starting to shake from the exertion.

"I'll start dragging bodies," she said. "If we're going to get them burned…"

But he cut her off before she could continue, starting to work at freeing the body, and she felt a little better to see that he was having a difficult time of it as well.

"Drag them," he said. "We'll pile them up…but let's not burn them today."

"Wait until tomorrow?" She asked.

She'd already thought the same.

They usually liked to burn early in the day because by the time it got dark, the light from the fire would draw more Walkers because it was easier to see. If they started the fire now…or rather if they started it once they'd moved all the bodies…then the fire would be nowhere close to dying down before darkness had set in and then they'd just risk calling more Walkers toward them to plant themselves like a morbid garden on the stakes they were just finishing up clearing.

Tyreese dropped the heavy body onto the ground with a thump and then wiped his head with his sleeve, nodding at her but panting hard enough that he couldn't speak.

She nodded back at him and without saying anything walked away to start dragging the bodies so that they would be ready to burn first thing in the morning and they would have daylight in their favor with the fire.

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"OK! We're clean!" Carol declared, coming out of the bathroom in her pajamas and holding Judith's hand because when the girl got too enthusiastic about things she lost her footing on the floor in her sock feet.

Tyreese was standing, watching the fire in the fireplace burn, probably afraid to sit and dirty anything up since they'd realized, after eating dinner without stripping down enough, that Carol had to wash the dining room chairs where they'd both left more Walker mess than they wanted in their living space.

"Do you have hot water? Or you need to me warm some?" Carol asked, moving her body along with the dancing motion that Judith, holding onto her hands, was demanding of her.

"Damn…" Tyreese said, looking surprised. He chuckled. "I totally forgot to warm it up…"

Carol shook her head.

"It's not a big deal," she said. "Since you have your boots on still, can you dump out what we left in the bathroom? I'll get some warming up for you…"

Tyreese nodded and Carol smiled, peeling her fingers out of one of Judith's hands and taking the other in a firm hold.

"Come on Jude…let's go warm some water…can you tell Ty 'come right back'?" Carol said to the little girl.

"Come back," Judith barked at Tyreese. "We…water…come back!"

Tyreese chuckled and bent over.

"OK…you get water…I'll come right back…help Carol," Tyreese said.

He straightened up, patted Judith on the head and then squeezed Carol's arm as he passed by her on his way to the bathroom to take out the pot of dirty water she'd used to wash Judith and then herself and Carol took Judith with her into the kitchen to get another pot going for him to wash off with.

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"Would it be stupid," Carol said after a moment, "if we were to see if we could find some…board game or something? I mean…when we go back into town for the next run?"

They had folded Tyreese's bed up, out of they way, and they were both on the couch. They'd been up there playing with Judth, but she'd dropped out a few moments ago and was leaning against Tyreese, asleep, only coming back into consciousness now and again with some random word or sound as though she were trying to protest the sleep that she wanted.

"It could be nice," Tyreese said. "I'm never going to get that generator fixed…if I did we could watch movies…"

Carol reached and patted him on the leg. The generator…the generator was a project that he tinkered at with some dedication, but for having sat up so long and for, so he suspected, having been broken even before the fall, there was a good chance that it would never work again.

"You know," she said. "We could look for a new generator…maybe when it's not so cold outside…find a truck or something to bring it back in? Then you don't have to fix that old one."

Tyreese nodded his consideration of what she was saying and then shifted Judith's ragdoll body around, offering Carol the chance to lean and kiss the little girl's forehead. Judith shocked back into being awake for a second, looked confused, and then smiled at Carol before closing her eyes once more and settling back into Tyreese's arms.

He got up and put her into the bed, whispering something to her that Carol couldn't hear as he gave her the rabbit and tucked the blankets around her, planting a kiss on her forehead himself before he came back to the couch and sat down, rubbing here and there at aching muscles that they both had enough of to go around.

They were both quiet for a moment and then Tyreese hummed like he was going to speak, stopped again, and finally committed to saying something.

"You said when it's not so cold outside," Tyreese said.

He looked at Carol and she nodded her head slightly at him.

She had said that. She had said it because it was something that she had been thinking about…a good deal, actually.

"Does that mean," Tyreese said, breaking off with a little hesitation, "that you want to stay when the weather warms up?"

Carol swallowed.

She couldn't think of any reason not to stay. The part of her that fought before to keep them from staying…the part that felt like they had to keep moving and they had to keep searching for something…something safe…something good…it had almost given up entirely in its efforts.

Whether or not they were safe, they felt safe. They had no reason to believe that they weren't…and if this was safe…and if Judith could grow up well here…Carol really had no reason to protest giving it all she had to make the best of things.

And it wasn't a bad life.

She nodded her head.

"If it's safe…Judith deserves to grow up as normally as she can," Carol said. "If we…can…give her that…then I want to stay."

Tyreese nodded his head, a smile playing at his lips.

"Then we'll find a generator," he said. "Even before the spring comes…we'll find whatever we want. If we're home…if this is going to be home…we might as well make it the best that we can."

Carol let out a sigh.

Hearing the words made her relax in a way. It was the feeling that you get when you've been on vacation or been on a long trip and you've been living out of your suitcase for some time, and then finally you're given permission to unpack.

You're given permission to take ownership of your space.

And she was surprised to find that most of the anxiety that she'd been battling with over whether or not staying was a good idea dissolved on the spot.

"Before next winter we can seal the windows," Carol said. "Leave them open in the warmer months for ventilation…seal them to keep the cold out."

"If the generator works we might even have running water," Tyreese said. "We can get together supplies…find some books…plant some things. We might even be able to find some animals for eggs…maybe milk…"

"I can hunt," Carol said with a smile.

Tyreese chuckled.

"The mighty huntress," he teased.

Carol laughed in response.

"I could build a smokehouse," Tyreese said. "We could put up the meat we don't use…have meat for the winter."

And as they continued on, both letting their imaginations run as wild as they dared of a life that they could build there together…a life that was simple yet held everything they needed to, not only survive, but to thrive, Carol felt better and better about the decision.

She felt something that she hadn't felt since they'd first cleared the prison upon arriving…she felt a hope that maybe life could get better.

"Wait here," Tyreese commanded, getting to his feet.

Carol leaned up and looked after him as he disappeared from the room. She heard him knocking about, but she didn't pretend to know what he might be up to.

He came back into the room a few minutes later, two of the juice glasses from the kitchen in his hand, and sat down beside her again, his body close enough to hers that she moved her arm up on the back of the couch and turned toward him to make the room necessary for both of them to fit, and he handed her one of the glasses that contained a small amount of the fruity alcoholic beverage they'd found down in the basement.

"Thought we could drink to…what? A new life?" Tyreese asked.

"A…good…life," Carol responded.

"A better life," Tyreese said, raising his eyebrows at her.

"A quiet life," Carol said.

"Hell…" Tyreese said, examining the liquid that they still couldn't name. "Just a life, right?"

"I'll drink to that," Carol said.

Tyreese clanked his glass with hers and they both drank a swallow of the burning liquid. Whatever it was could take your breath completely away from you if you weren't ready for it, but they'd tasted enough of the beverage at this point that Carol knew to hold her breath when it went in her mouth to keep it from burning her nose.

Carol licked her lips after she'd swallowed. The taste of the beverage, burn aside, was really quite pleasant.

Tyreese smacked his mouth too, savoring the sweetness since they allowed themselves so little of it.

He looked at her, chuckled lightly, and she couldn't help but smile at how light he seemed just at the prospect of staying there…just at the prospect of maybe getting something that, these days, almost seemed like an absolute dream. He looked as light as she felt for the moment.

She didn't expect it when Tyreese dipped his head and brought them closer together, touching their lips together in a kiss.

She hadn't expected it at all, and she'd frozen with the realization of what was happening, as her brain tried to process that he was kissing her.

And she felt sorry because with the way he pulled back, she realized how it had all come off…and how he had taken her complete lack of return or enthusiasm.

Even if she'd been dumb enough not to know how he felt…it was written on his face.

"I'm sorry," he said. He fidgeted, drank down what was left in his glass, and got up like he was going to walk away and Carol reached, catching his arm in her hand and holding it. He stopped, but he didn't look at her.

"Tyreese…" Carol said.

"I shouldn't have…and I'm sorry," Tyreese said, pulling his arm loose from hers and heading into the kitchen.

After a moment, when he didn't return, Carol got up and drained the rest of the liquid in her glass.

She wasn't sure, even, why she hadn't responded to the kiss. She'd been caught off guard…she hadn't been ready for it…

And part of her was still struggling with old feelings for Daryl. Old, unrequited feelings for a man who wasn't even here and probably wouldn't have ever kissed her with half the enthusiasm that Tyreese had in anything more than her dreams…and she could almost kick herself for that struggle.

When she came into the kitchen, Tyreese was standing in the semi dark, the space barely illuminated by a candle burning on the table, and he had his arms crossed across his chest like he was just waiting in there alone for something…

Or, more than likely, like he was doing penance for what he'd done.

Carol came over to him and sat the glass down on the counter next to him.

"Tyreese…I don't want you to feel embarrassed…or like you shouldn't have kissed me…I'm flattered that you did," Carol said.

Tyreese chuckled ironically.

"But you're not interested…and that's fine…" Tyreese said.

Carol shook her head.

"It's not that I'm not interested, exactly," she said with some hesitation…because she wasn't sure even what she was feeling at the moment, but she knew what it felt like to be rejected and what it felt like to wallow in that embarrassment and she really didn't want that for him…especially since she wasn't rejecting him…not entirely.

"I think…" Carol continued after a moment, "I think that I'm just not ready…not…completely ready…"

Tyreese looked at her and she waited to see how he might react to her poor explanation of her feelings, but he didn't do anything more than nod his head. After a moment he chuckled again.

"If you're not ready…you're not ready," he said. "It's not like either of us is going anywhere…"

Carol smiled and she walked over to him, leaning up, her heart punding, and pulling him down to her. She kissed him…and he kissed her back as chastely as if they had been related, obviously tense about the whole thing.

"There…" she said, when she pulled away. "Now we've both kissed each other…and neither of us reacted…I'd say for now we're even."

Tyreese laughed, the laugh coming out as a snort, and he shook his head.

"You want some more of the juice stuff?" He asked.

"A little," Carol said, bringing her glass around for him to pour a little into it from the glass jug that he tipped into his own glass as well.

Carol stood there, sipping the fruit flavored drink in the darkness, her head already feeling just a touch lighter than before, and thought to herself that maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing that had ever happened to her to let go of the past a little bit…let go of some of the things that she held on to so tightly.

But she wanted, if she made such a decision, to make it because of Tyreese himself…and not because they were the last two people left…because she believed that he deserved better than that sentiment…and maybe, so did she.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Here we go, another little chapter.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think! **

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Carol tried to pretend, for Judith's benefit, that she wasn't concerned and that the run that Tyreese was on was normal, just like all the others that they'd ever been on.

And it had started put that way.

Carol and Judith had seen him off at what they loosely considered the edge of their property.

It was starting to warm a little now, though mornings still found the ground thoroughly coated with frost sometimes and nights could make you shiver if you were bold enough to step outside without the proper layers.

Tyreese was just going on a basic run...find what supplies he could grab quickly in the nearby town and hopefully find a place where they could begin to gather the supplies needed for the planting they were hoping to do and find some books or something to tell them where to even begin with such an undertaking.

But darkness had settled in around the house now and Carol, for all her efforts to get Judith ready for bed and convince her that all was fine and her Ty would "be right back" was finding it difficult to keep the occasional tear from requiring her attention and sliding, unwelcome, down her face.

Because no matter what she told Judith, her mind and her body both told her, with an anxiety and an ache that she couldn't quite swallow down, that he was not returning from this run. It was far later than the hour in which he should have made it back...and there wasn't even a way to know what had happened.

Had he fallen by Walker or had it been something worse?

And did it mean that there were threats in her vicinity and that she should move on with Judith?

One of their strongest held rules was that if either of them were on a run and didn't return, they would at least wait twenty four hours before moving on, except in cases of imminent threat, but they would not go in search of each other to avoid the risk of endangering Judith by taking her directly into a dangerous situation.

And until now the rule seemed logical and it seemed rational and it seemed like the best thing that they could plan to handle just such a situation.

But, as with most things, that was because the situation had, until now, been purely hypothetical. Until now, emotion hadn't come into play.

But now Carol was facing, alone, the dilemma of what to do with the very rule that she had helped establish because her heart told her to go after him...her heart told her to try to find him again and to try to help if she could or at least to just know what had happened to him.

But she knew that he had stressed the rule...thought that it was important to follow...because it wasn't about them as much as it was about Judith now and trying to keep the girl safe at all costs.

Carol more or less forced Judith into an early bedtime by insisting, though it was earlier than normal, that she subject herself to being held and rocked, forcefully lulling the child to sleep despite the fact that she clearly didn't understand why it was that she could not stay up for Tyreese's return.

When Judith had finally nodded off and stopped entirely her protesting, Carol moved the girl to the mattress and then wrapped one of her sweaters loosely over her shoulder to step outside and look around, not even sure at this point exactly what she was looking for.

When she stood on the edge of the porch, looking from side to side as though she expected some kind of sign to suddenly appear on the horizon and tell her what had happened or what she should do, she felt a little ashamed as she realized that she could still see, somewhat, streaks of light in the sky. She'd put Judith to bed far too early, and chances were that she was overreacting at least a little.

But there was a cold fear behind thinking that you'd found yourself, finally, entirely and completely alone…and it was a cold feeling that had only washed over once before since this whole thing had happened. Except this time…she also had Judith to be concerned with.

Carol sat down in one of the rocking chairs, unsure of what to do with herself, and waited as the night continued to fall around her.

No matter what she thought about doing or what she thought about not doing, she felt a wave of anxiety swell up in her. Because she knew that, once again, there was no easy answer to this…and she was the one that was going to have to make the call.

Either she stayed alone with Judith in the house…which they'd have to leave for runs and such…or she moved on alone with Judith. And both were dangerous…and truly she believed both would be temporary because, for no matter how far she'd come, she wasn't sure that anyone could truly make it alone in this world…and certainly not while trying to keep a child alive.

When she saw flashing lights somewhat in the distance, she grew even more worried.

Tyreese's absence may not be Walker related at all…it may be related to other people…in which case the lights might indicate that she was no longer alone in the place that she had thought before might be a safe haven for them.

She got up and slipped into the house, pushing the barricade in front of the door that they pushed into place each night. It would buy time if there was someone coming…just as it would buy time if Walkers were coming, but it wouldn't buy much time.

And for that they'd planned, already, an escape route out the back.

Carol breathed a silent thanks that she was already dressed. The emergency bag of supplies was packed by the back door. All she'd have to do, if she saw anyone nearing their house or threatening them, was to grab up the sleeping child, grab the bag on the way out the door, and slip into the darkness to keep moving on.

But for the time being she simply found her knife and checked the pistol to assure herself it was loaded. They were low on ammunition…but she'd use what she had to.

The lights pulled up to the gate outside the house and Carol watched from the edge of the window, her heart pounding with a ferocity that made her ears thump.

One figure got out of the truck and opened the gate.

And Carol's heart caught.

One figure pulled the truck through the gate, got out, and closed the gate back…and the one figure returned to the truck, pulling it farther inside, almost to the porch steps…and then the figure opened the truck door and got out.

Carol put the pistol down, pushed the piece of furniture out of the way with even less effort than she'd moved it into place, and ran out the door, not even guarding any kind of decorum as she dismounted the steps and rushed toward Tyreese.

And he caught her in her forward movement, halting her entirely with his frame and lifted her slightly off the ground as he hugged her, laughing softly.

"Good to see you too," he said with a chuckle.

As soon as her feet were back on the ground, Carol backed away to examine him in the light of the truck headlights that he hadn't turned off yet.

And it was only then that she fully realized that her eyes were leaking tears.

"You scared me to death! I was…I was ready to shoot you…to make a run for it with Judith!" Carol spat.

Tyreese chuckled.

"Good…at least you were doing what you were supposed to do," he said.

Carol's breathing started to even out a little as she tried to decide which of the emotions that she felt was the one that she wanted to pay the most attention to.

"I'm sorry," Tyreese said. "When I got into town…I got slowed down…there must have been some kind of herd migration or something…by the time that I got it under control, it was already getting late so I knew I was going to have to steal a vehicle if I was going to make it back at all tonight…and I thought, as long as I had the truck, I might as well make it a worthwhile run…"

Carol wanted to be mad. She wanted to be furious with him for leaving her to wonder if he'd been killed…to wonder how in the world she was going to keep going on her own with Judith…she really wanted to be mad, but she couldn't feel the anger over the happiness that he had been slowed down by Walkers, and that he was home safely.

Without even thinking about it, she nearly threw herself at him again and he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight to him.

"I would have called," he said somewhat apologetically, but with a hint of humor to his words.

"Now you're just being an asshole…" Carol said, though she did laugh a little at the thought of him calling her to tell her that he would be late…he'd gotten stuck in a migrating herd of undead corpses.

"Come on…come here…" Tyreese said. "I want to show you everything I got…and there's so much more where that came from…"

And he pushed at her, so she moved off of him, and followed him to get the flashlight out of the truck so that he could show her whatever wonders he'd picked up on the run…and she hoped they would be worth the heart failure she'd nearly suffered.

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Carol wasn't going to sleep anyway…she was too amped up on her own emotions…so she'd helped Tyreese unload the truck, in the dark.

And he'd brought back much more than she'd suspected he might. He'd brought back boxes of seeds…he'd brought back a whole garden book section of a store…he'd brought back tools for everything they might need to do.

And on top of that he'd brought back a toddler bed for Judith, more blankets and quilts since they seemed to need them for everything, and…especially for Carol, he said…he'd brought back at least fifteen different kinds of board games.

And Judith hadn't minded at all when he'd woken her. She hadn't minded he was sweaty…she hadn't minded that he showed her the toddler bed that they'd put together by lamplight on the porch and tucked just to the side in the living room so that she could have some semblance of privacy and some semblance of independence…even if she was only feet from either of them and could easily sleep with anyone if she only requested it. Judith hadn't even minded when he'd tucked her in her new little bed, all made up with special sheets he'd brought her…and coaxed her to go right back to sleep.

Judith hadn't minded one bit the interruption to her schedule because Tyreese was home…and it felt right to her.

And Carol understood that feeling.

"One day it's going to be real…and it's terrifying," Carol said as they sat on the couch. "One day…Tyreese…it's not going to be a test of the emergency broadcast system."

Tyreese put his arm around, rubbing her arm with his hand.

"Maybe not," he said. "Maybe it won't be a test…and maybe one day I won't come back…or you won't come back…I don't know much about "one day" right now, Carol…all I know is what's right now…and right now we're all here and we're all safe…and Judith's happy, and I'm happy…"

He dropped off suddenly and Carol looked at him looking back at her, his brows furrowed.

"Are you happy?" He asked.

Carol considered the question.

What did it even mean, these days, to be happy? She had been, only hours before, terrified and already accepting, like she'd done so many times, the fact that her own death was probably near…probably just around the corner.

Yet…either she'd forgotten what in the world it really meant to be happy…or worse, she'd forgotten what it really meant to be anything specific…or she was happy at the moment.

Carol nodded her head and sighed, sinking against Tyreese a little.

"Yeah," she said. "I think…I think I'm pretty happy."

And he nodded his head in response.

"Then one day doesn't matter…not right now," Tyreese said, reaching and catching her under the chin, holding her face so that she couldn't have looked away from him if she'd wanted to…but she didn't really want to.

After a moment, when he brought his lips to touch lightly at hers, she responded…she deepened the kiss and was surprised at herself…at the way that she responded to his kiss and the warm feeling of his hands on her body.

And she might have been a little ashamed of how she was acting a few moments later…when they'd somehow shifted themselves around on the couch to make out like teenagers in a hurried rush not to get caught by their parents…kissing and grabbing like neither of them had the self control to even stop long enough to catch the air up in their lungs that they needed to continue their activity.

There was no telling, either, how long it might have gone on, because Carol wasn't stopping it and Tyreese wasn't either…

And when Carol felt him slide his hand inside her shirt, finding that she'd abandoned her bra some time ago because it wasn't necessary, and she felt him squeeze at her breast, toying with a nipple that had been entirely neglected for so long, she gasped and broke them apart long enough that both of them took advantage to swallow in long gulps of air before his lips descended on her again, suckling at her neck.

And that was when Carol started to realize what they were doing. That was when, perhaps, she started to overthink something she hadn't been thinking about before.

And when the same wandering hand that was teasing her breasts left its location and slipped down, his fingers just finding their way inside the waistband of her pajama pants and down to rub at the cotton of her underwear…Carol caught herself.

"Wait…" Carol said, hearing her own body protest, boo, and hiss at her brain.

Tyreese stopped, but he didn't retreat. He simply froze, moving his mouth away from the damp trail on her neck to bring his face in front of hers.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

Carol sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling guilty for being the one to put a stop to this…especially when her own body was calling her names for doing so.

"I'm just…" Carol said. "I'm not…"

Tyreese got the message entirely it seemed because he retreated from his earlier trail and pushed himself off her entirely, sitting on the cushion down below where her feet were…a million miles away it seemed at the moment.

"I'm sorry…" Carol said.

And she was sorry. She was very sorry…because she wasn't ready and she was ashamed to say it. She was ashamed to say that, in a world where they had to make impossible decisions with moments to spare, she couldn't even make the decision to give into something that she wanted.

Tyreese shook his head and brought his hand up to scratch at it a moment before he dropped it heavily back into his lap.

"No…you're not ready…" he said with something of a chuckle, "then you're not ready…I'd rather you say you're not ready than pretend that you are."

Carol couldn't even respond to it…she simply nodded her head, already feeling a sinking feeling at the thought that she wanted to go back on what she'd said…but she feared that she'd just change her mind her again and that wasn't fair to her…or to him.

"Tyreese…" she said after a moment.

He looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

"Even if…" she started and then stopped. "Judith has her own bed now…" she said when she started up speaking again. "Do you want to sleep with me…I mean…"

Tyreese chuckled and Carol laughed too. Her words weren't coming out the way she wanted them to, but thankfully he was forgiving.

"Yeah…I'd like that," he said, nodding his head. "But…I'm going to go…go to the bathroom while you get ready for bed…"

Carol nodded her head at him and got up and she went to get the bed ready, bringing his pillow over from the couch.

She might not be ready yet…not for everything that Tyreese might be ready for…but at least they could, in some way, take a little more comfort from one another.

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**AN: After the finale, I have to admit that I almost decided to take this story in another direction, but I decided not to do it since I said I wouldn't. I'm sure later I'll be writing a separate fic to go in other directions to work out some feelings and frustrations I have…**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Here we go, another little chapter. **

**I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!**

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The group ventured out together, leaving only one man at the house to guard it in case someone were to attempt to take ownership of their jointly claimed property. The house they'd chosen to take refuge in for a few days was one of those almost plantation style homes. It was a place that Daryl had walked around, looking room to room…because there were a good deal of rooms…and marveled at the amount of money that whoever had lived there had spent on the place.

And you could bet now that they were dead as everyone else. And you could bet that when they were alive they were probably the kind of assholes that talked shit about every person that didn't have the kind of money they had…and they gave to charities and shit so they could say they had, even though it was only the most miniscule amount so that they could have bragging rights without ever even depleting in the slightest their unnecessary sum of money.

People like that had always pissed Daryl off on principle, though he'd always bit his tongue about it.

And the people who had lived here…you could bet that for having had a house that gave everyone in their group their own damn room with space to spare…there were probably only two of them that even ever lived there.

But at least now the rich people's overindulgence was providing them with the nicest place they'd stayed since Daryl had met up with the group. And at least they'd been kind enough, before the world had gone to shit, to stock the house with a decent amount of food, water, and alcohol so that for a few days the group had been able to bathe and eat and drink like kings.

But now their stock in the house was running lower than they liked and, since they weren't quite ready to relinquish the roof over their heads or the somewhat plush living arrangements they hadn't gotten all the enjoyment out of that they could, they were going in search of a town to salvage whatever they could and bring it back to their humble abode.

They were back in Georgia…spring was springing all around them, though the cold wasn't entirely gone out of the air yet. Daryl would guess, if he was forced to do so…which he never was…that once upon a time they might have called it March. That kind of shit, though…it didn't really matter anymore.

And Daryl was thankful that they'd found the house with such good stock because, otherwise, his credibility might have dwindled some when he insisted that Georgia wasn't tapped out. They might have expected to move on soon…heading farther north or west…the group was up in the air about which way might be the way to go since obviously directly south of them was a bust…if the house hadn't given them some renewed hope that Daryl wasn't full of shit when he said there was potential there.

Daryl was starting to wonder himself, though, what he was holding out for. They were back in Georgia and he suspected they were somewhere around the place that he'd been trying to get to…but he was beginning to wonder what had him even thinking that he wasn't wasting his life entirely on a secret wild goose chase.

Because even if Carol were alive…at this point he was sure that he'd never just stumble upon her. She'd be long gone from wherever the hell Rick had dumped her ass…and since Daryl didn't know where that was at, he really had no starting point at all…and since he didn't even know where the hell they were really at…it wasn't like he had much now.

They found a town quickly enough, abandoned like most other towns they'd come through since they'd parted ways with the streams of people trying to escape whatever extra hell had exploded down in Florida, and they went together into what looked to be a department store…though time and weather had stripped it of whatever kind of sign it had once had.

The door was broken out, a sure sign that they weren't the first ones to ever go inside, and they crunched across the glass in a somewhat tight bunch until they were fairly certain that if there were Walkers in the space, they weren't there in droves.

They began to split off from one another as they wandered through the department store, but they never let too much distance fall between them…never more than twelve or so feet…just in case there were to arise some kind of situation where one of them needed some sort of backup.

Because even though Daryl wasn't particularly fond of anyone in the group, except maybe Joe who was growing on him like a fungus, the rules of the group was that they had each other's' backs at all times and that was one of the rules that really no one had any interest in breaking for fear of if the time came that they needed someone to back them up.

Daryl fumbled around, looking in his vicinity for anything he might want for himself, but at the moment he couldn't really think of anything in this part of the store that might be of interest to him. It was mostly home things…baby things…a woman's part of a store and nothing that they really needed. They'd scan it quickly enough and move on.

But then he heard the echoing sound of boots.

And it was unmistakeably the sound of running…the clomp and slide of someone trying to escape their presence. They weren't in the building alone and it was confirmed for Daryl when he saw the quick shift in activity of his group as they all went toward the source of the sound. Daryl followed instinctively, lowering his crossbow because he figured that the person running was afraid enough and just the appearance of their group would do enough to probably keep them from attacking.

He heard Joe hum out some words about "what do we have" and he pushed forward in the group to see for himself instead of waiting for Joe's description of the person they'd cornered.

And his mouth spoke even as his chest nearly exploded and his eyes widened at the sight they didn't believe.

"CLAIMED!" Daryl yelled out, his voice startling him as it echoed through the building around them.

But it came out at almost the same time as Jensen's.

Jensen, taking his own word as gold stepped toward her, apparently unafraid of the knife she held out in front of her as a warning…even though her eyes said she was terrified. But she was cornered, and Daryl knew that someone cornered had already prepared to fight, even if it meant death.

Daryl stepped forward, cutting Jensen off and shoved him back, raising his crossbow and pointing it at the man.

"Don't'cha fuckin' touch her…I said claimed," Daryl growled.

Jensen hated him as much as he hated Jensen…it didn't really break Daryl's heart any. But the man chuckled.

"I said it first," Jensen said.

Joe stepped up then, making a gesture to Daryl to lower his weapon, and Daryl only offered to lower it partway…showing he was willing to listen but he was still perfectly fine with shooting Jensen's worthless ass if given the chance…even if it meant they were going to kill him next.

"What we got here, boys…is somethin' needin' a little mediatin'," Joe said. He looked back and forth between the two of them. "I would normally say it might be a coin toss...but…Daryl here, he ain't never claimed no woman before. So if this one trips his trigger…sorry Jensen, she's claimed."

Jensen backed up a little and Daryl glanced over his shoulder at Carol, her knife in her hand but a little more loosely held than before and her eyes still full of terror. But she wasn't speaking at the moment and Daryl was thankful for that. He hadn't had time to sort any of this out at all…but the one thing he did know was that he didn't want them knowing he was personally acquainted with her until he was sure what that might mean to the group.

"Let me go," Carol called out finally. "I don't have anything for you…"

Jensen chuckled from where he stood.

"She wants to be turned loose," Jensen said. "I say that's what we oughta do…turn her loose…just like she wants…"

Daryl stood there, looking back and forth between Carol and Jensen both. She was nodding her head, agreeing with Jensen, but she didn't know what the hell Daryl knew about the fabric of the man. If they turned her loose right now…let her go wherever the hell it was that she thought she was going…Jensen would find a way to get away from the group. And when he caught up to her…there wouldn't be Daryl and Joe nearby to keep him from doing what he wanted to do anyway.

Joe chuckled at Jensen, though, before Daryl could say anything, because Joe knew that Jensen's character could be questionable…though he always managed not to get caught red headed in anything he did…and he always managed to have some kind of explanation that they couldn't prove without witnesses.

"Now…now…" Joe said, looking toward Carol. "Ain't nobody here gonna hurt'cha…we just gon' let Daryl here have a lil' talk with ya about what we're willin' to offer you…don't that sound nice?"

"Daryl?" Carol said, the word coming out caught between question and statement.

Joe nodded his head.

"That's right…this here's Daryl," Joe said, clapping Daryl on the shoulder. Daryl did his best to give her a look that would beg her not to give away the fact that they were previously acquainted and he hoped she understood. "He's gonna talk with ya…that's all…just talk."

Carol lowered her knife the rest of the way, but still held it in her hand, her brow furrowed with concern.

"Back off me," Daryl said after a minute. "I'ma talk to her an' I don't need ya asses breathin' down my neck…go find ya shit…"

Joe laughed. He seemed to be finding the thing as hilarious as he found it when Zane, so long ago, first claimed a woman. It made Joe proud or something…

"Ya heard the man…back up…give him his space," Joe announced. "We got a long list an' not that many hours left 'til we run outta daylight."

The group did disperse slowly and Daryl received another clasp on the shoulder from Joe before he felt like he was able to speak freely…before he felt like he was able to even verify for his senses that the woman standing in front of him was actually the woman that he'd been looking for all this time.

"I need ya ta pretend ya don't know me…" Daryl said, keeping his voice very low.

Carol furrowed her brow and shook her head slightly.

"I don't know you…" she said. "And you don't know me…"

And all at once Daryl knew it was her…and he tried to pretend that he didn't know what the words meant and that they didn't sting.

He nodded his head.

"Listen…" he said. "You gonna go with us…you gonna spend the night. We'll feed you, get you whatever we can that'cha want…you can have a bath…sleep safe. Tomorrow…at dawn…if you wanna go somewhere, I'll take you where you wanna go…we can talk more about it later…but for right now…you just gotta say you goin' with me."

Carol shook her head.

"I've been gone most of the day," she said. "I need…to go now, Daryl. I need to go…and I don't want to go with…your people."

Daryl sucked in a breath.

It would probably only be natural that she was concerned. They didn't like the warmest and most welcoming bunch, but Daryl thought that he could make it so that she was safe. He could make it so that nothing happened to her. And he already figured that wherever it was that he was taking her in the morning…he could probably just stay with her…and the group would never be none the wiser as to what had happened to him.

He shook his head.

"I know you scared," Daryl said. "But I ain't…nothin's gon' happen to ya…ya got my word. You just gotta play along."

Carol shook her head.

"I'm not scared of staying," she said. "I just need to go…I don't want to be gone too long…"

"Tomorrow…sun up…you'll get where the hell ya goin'!" Daryl growled, raising his voice a little bit. She looked at him like she wanted to slap him and he realized that maybe it was true…maybe she didn't know him…and maybe he didn't know her.

He backed up a second, took a breath, and leaned in close enough to her again to be sure that his words weren't travelling.

"If I let'cha go now…Jensen…he's gonna find a way ta catch up with ya…an' when he does…you ain't never gettin' wherever the hell ya goin'," Daryl said. "We can talk about it more later…when we get back ta the house we stayin' in…but for now ya just gonna have ta say you goin' an' ya happy 'bout it if you don't wanna die," Daryl said.

Carol continued to stare at him.

And he frowned because the way that this was going…the way she was looking at him…the things he was having to say right now. They were nothing like what he thought it would be like if he ever found her again.

He softened his voice again.

"I just…need ya ta trust me…" Daryl said.

Carol nodded her head and after a second she straightened up. She put her knife away.

"I trust you…" she said. "I can leave at dawn?"

Daryl nodded.

"With me as an escort," he said.

Carol nodded her head, though her face didn't entirely relax.

"I trust you…Daryl," Carol said again.

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**AN: So to those of you who still want more Cyreese/Careese, etc. I am planning 2 other fics right now…one of which will be complicated, but will have Cyreese/Careese and playing/hinting at some other stuff too…and probably is an end game Caryl story. The other is totally Cyreese/Careese (and similar to a type of "different ending" story to this one…not exactly but I mean in a similar vein/tone).**

**But as for this story, I warned about what has already happened and said that's all that was going to happen romantically between them, so I'm going forward with this one as I originally had it planned. I don't want to cause too much harm to the Caryl purists reading this story…and I don't want my readers not to trust me when I tell them what they can and can't expect. ;-) I'd hate to be like an AMC writer in that regard…LOL**

**So here we go…**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Here we go, another little chapter. **

**I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! **

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As the light was fading and they were walking along, back toward the house where they were taking cover, Carol kept dropping back farther and farther from the group, looking around her and Daryl slowed his own steps, making sure to stay with her.

And from time to time, the group noticed and slowed theirs here and there, watching him over their shoulders.

Joe dropped all the way back at one time.

"Don't wanna push too much," Joe said. "But'cha reckon you could pick up the pace a little bit on ya evenin' stroll here? We ain't seen too many dead'uns, but that don't mean it's prudent to spend too much time draggin' our feet."

Carol gave Joe a look, but she wasn't looking at Daryl. She was treating him…whether because she wanted to or because he'd asked her to…like she really didn't know him at all. And the one time that he'd reached out a hand, wrapping it around her arm to pull her forward and keep her from falling as far behind as she was forcing him to fall, she'd snatched her arm out of his hand and stepped away from him a few steps.

So he hovered close to her…and he told himself it was all for her benefit…it was all to keep her from running…to keep someone from sneaking off after her…to keep her from getting lost out there in the dark because she seemed so damn determined to get to wherever the hell it was that she came from.

But really it was just as much for his benefit. Because he didn't want, after looking for her for so long, to lose her. He didn't want to lose his chance to figure out how to say what he wanted to say to her…he didn't want her getting away because he might have been the person running after her.

Joe chuckled at Daryl as he walked along beside them, obviously seeing that he wasn't going to get a response.

"Way you're hovering over her…" Joe said. "Would damn near think she's your lil' Beth…your name ain't Beth, is it?"

Joe reached out, pushing slightly at Carol's shoulder to get a response from her. She looked at him with the same kind of disgust that they typically reserved for Walkers, and Daryl flinched a little at Joe's commentary…not knowing if the whole of her disgust was over Joe himself, over the situation, or over Joe's mention of Beth…

"Say…you his woman? You Beth?" Joe pressed when Carol didn't respond, pushing at her shoulder again.

"Hands off," Daryl barked. That was at least one of the rules of claiming. Hands off. He couldn't tell Joe to shut up…though he would here shortly…with any authority, but he could keep him from poking and prodding at her like she was an animal being herded along.

"No…" Carol said, looking at Joe. "I'm not Beth…"

And Joe chuckled.

"Go the hell back up there, Joe," Daryl said. "Keep an eye on what the hell's goin' on…I got her just fine on my own…"

Joe sucked his teeth.

"Don't be such an ass, Daryl," Joe said. "I would figure you'd be happy…pretty lady like this staying with you for a spell…"

Carol looked at Daryl then. He couldn't really read her mind…he didn't have any super powers like that…but he could imagine that she was panicking over the idea of staying longer than dawn. She didn't say anything, though, and he just quickly shook his head to dismiss it, keeping his step with hers and trying to figure out what the hell was going to happen later and what exactly he was going to say.

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Daryl had almost felt like they were cattle being herded to his room. He'd never been on this end of the "claimed woman" treatment and never realized what it was really like…and never thought before what it must be like for the woman.

Because even if she agreed to it…and even if they were bringing them food to the space laid out for them, which luckily enough here was a bedroom instead of something like a hayloft or a metal storage shed…or even just a blanket tucked off to the side in the woods…it must be pretty degrading to just be herded straight damn off to some place like you were being brought in to be bred…but then again, that's essentially what the hell they figured was happening.

Carol sat down on the bed in the room that Daryl had claimed as soon as he shut the door behind them, having accepted Joe's "gift" of a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses stacked together like it was some kind of damn wedding present and Joe was his best friend…proud of his ass for getting laid…proud of him for, as far as he knew, claiming some damn woman at first sight and figuring on nailing her just as soon as he knew her name…assuming that the other men ever even got that far with polite introductions.

Daryl put the bottle and the glasses down on the dresser in the room and wiped his hands on his pants. They had water to bathe…they had water to drink…and food would appear outside the door later…they didn't have a damn thing to do now but to kill time and to talk.

But talking was always where Daryl got hung up the most.

On second thought, he took a shot from the bottle of whiskey and he held it out toward Carol but she shook her head.

"Might want it," Daryl said. "Might calm ya down…"

He'd meant it differently than it came out apparently because she almost looked offended. He put the bottle back on the dresser.

"Who are you, Daryl?" Carol asked from where she was sitting. "Who are these…men?"

Daryl shook his head.

"I'm just me," he said. "An' these people…they a group I come up on…"

He stopped and shrugged.

"I been with 'em a while now…" Daryl admitted.

It looked like she was disappointed in him. He'd seen the look of disappointment on a lot of people's faces in his life, but it particularly hurt when she wore it.

"What's supposed to happen now?" Carol asked, her voice low. "What am I supposed…to do?"

Daryl shook his head.

"Nothin'," he said. "I claimed ya ta keep them from gettin' at ya…'cause if one a' them woulda claimed ya…they'da been expectin'…"

He broke off and shrugged, not feeling like he could come right out and say what she'd probably be doing if one of them had claimed her and manipulated her into coming with them. Although, he suspected that if anyone else had tried it she'd have chosen to be let loose instead…and then there was a good chance that she wouldn't have made it any damn where before one of the assholes slipped off.

She just nodded her head slowly and knowingly at him, but she didn't say anything right away.

"But…you're not…" she said, her voice trailing off.

Daryl shook his head.

"Nah…I ain't expectin' nothin'…" Daryl said. "Just figured we'd talk…"

Carol nodded her head again, the look on her face changing slightly but still not a look that he'd imagined seeing when and if he ever found her.

And it almost pissed him off.

"This is great," Carol said. "This catching up…and all…but I've got to go, Daryl. I've got…I've just got to go…so if there's something that I have to do…or say…"

"I told ya," Daryl said. "I'll take ya where the hell ya wanna go in the mornin'…soon as the damn sun comes up."

And he felt his irritation growing…and it grew more when she nodded her head slightly, the look on her face growing no more pleasant.

"I been lookin' for you!" Daryl declared finally, letting his voice only rise slightly because he didn't want anyone to be listening…which they would probably be trying to hear whatever they could…and figuring out what the hell was really going on. "I been lookin' for you since…since the whole damn thing with the Governor…least you could do is not look at me like ya disgusted by me."

He swallowed…realizing now that the anger and the irritation that he felt was probably just mislabeled hurt and maybe disappointment of his own.

Carol wrinkled her brow at him.

"You've been looking for me?" She asked, shaking her head slightly.

"Rick told me what he done ta ya…told me he left ya but he ain't said where," Daryl said. "The Governor showed up…he killed Hershel…he tore the prison apart…I been lookin' for ya but I ain't even knowed where ta look…"

Carol stared at him a moment, her face losing expression before it tightened again into the somewhat confused expression of before.

"You were looking for me?" She repeated.

Daryl nodded his head.

"Beth?" She asked. "Beth Greene?"

Daryl felt his stomach flip a little at the mention of Beth's name, but he nodded his head. He wasn't going to lie…and Joe had said what the hell he knew about things…whether or not it was true or not.

Carol's eyebrows raised slightly.

"You and Beth were looking for me?" She asked. "Where's Beth?"

Daryl stood there for a moment.

"She…uh…got kidnapped. Joe says he knows the group…figures she's dead," Daryl said.

Carol nodded her head at him.

"But you don't know that she's dead?" Carol asked.

"Went after her…we were…together when it happened," Daryl said. "But they had a car an' I lost her…that's when the group found me…"

Carol nodded at him again and he wished she stop. He wished she'd say something…even it was to yell at him. Even it was to ask him something more about what had happened…whatever. He just wished she'd stop looking at him like that.

"Carol…I been thinkin' 'bout what the hell I'd say ta you…what the hell I'd do when I found you…for a long damn time now," Daryl said, picking up the whiskey bottle and taking a swallow from it, foregoing the glass. "An' this ain't what the hell I was gonna say…"

Carol tipped her head to the side a little and sighed.

"What were you going to say?" She asked.

Daryl frowned.

It felt like a challenge…and the truth was that now that he had the chance to say it…he wasn't even sure anymore what he'd wanted to say exactly. Because…for as much as she might think that he had changed, and maybe he had…he suspected that she had changed too. It was still her…but it wasn't her.

Daryl picked up the bottle and carried it with him, going to the bed and sitting down with almost a foot of space between them so she wouldn't get jumpy about it if she was thinking of getting jumpy…but she didn't react. She just kept her eyes trained on him, waiting on him to speak his piece.

"I lost ya…again…when Rick told me you was gone," Daryl said. "I just wanted…ta get'cha back…I wanted ta find ya…I never told ya half the shit I was thinkin'…'cause I was too damn scared, I guess…"

He drank from the bottle again and pushed it toward her…wishing she would drink out of it…wishing it would loosen her up and turn her into something that he didn't feel so…intimidated by.

She refused and he pushed it toward her again.

"Drink it…just a lil' bit…ain't goin' nowhere no way…just right here," Daryl said. "Least 'til the sun comes up…"

Carol took it from him and maintained her eye contact with him even as she took a swallow from the bottle. He expected her maybe to flinch a little…maybe to cough at the whiskey…but she didn't as she swallowed down what she'd taken into her mouth. Then she passed the bottle back.

"What were you too scared to say?" Carol asked, urging him on after a moment.

He shook his head.

"That I wanted…" he broke off and started again. "I liked bein' with ya…didn't wanta be without'cha…"

Carol shook her head slightly at him and chuckled.

"You didn't want to be without me?" Carol asked.

He shook his head and she responded with the same nod as earlier, and then she shrugged.

"OK? That's what you've been looking for me for…probably over a year…to say?" Carol asked.

"You don't wanna make shit easy, do ya?" Daryl asked, chuckling slightly at how inadequate he felt at the moment.

She shook her head at him.

"No…I don't guess I do…" Carol said. "I just want you to say what you need to say…because, Daryl, I'm not alone…and I have…a family...and they don't know where I am right now."

Daryl's stomach flipped a little.

"A family?" He asked.

Carol nodded her head.

"I've been with Tyreese…and Judith…since the prison fell. I was going back for the girls…I found…Tyreese…and we've been travelling together ever since."

Daryl felt his chest seize up a little and he forced himself to swallow.

"You're with Tyreese?" He asked.

Carol looked at him, her face not giving much away and Daryl got the urge to go and lift the wick on the oil lamp he had burning to raise the light in the room, thinking that if he could see her better…he might be able to read her mind as well as her face.

"We're travelling together," Carol repeated. "We're taking care of Judith…"

Daryl sat there for a moment and realized that even if they stayed here all night…even if he didn't even let her sleep at all…the sun would come up eventually and if he didn't say what he needed to say he'd lose her again because he had to keep good on his word and he had to take her back to wherever she wanted to go.

And even if it was the longest damn night he could remember…he wanted to know whatever there was to know. He wanted to know if he'd waited too long…if he'd missed his opportunity back at the prison so long ago to ever admit how the hell he felt. He wanted to find the courage, whether it was in the whiskey bottle or not, to tell her how he felt.

But he wanted, first, to know if he'd already lost her…even more than he'd lost her before.

"You travellin' with him," Daryl said. He cleared his throat. "But…that ain't what I'm askin'…I'm askin' if you with him?"


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Here we go, another chapter. I'm not a hundred percent happy with it…but it is what it is. **

**I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! **

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"Daryl…why would you care if I was with Tyreese?" Carol asked.

Daryl ran his fingers through his hair.

"So you with him?" He asked again, not bothering to answer her question.

She looked at the bedspread and ran her hand across it.

"I've been with Tyreese for…probably over a year now…and we've been through…" she stopped and stared at Daryl a moment. She shook her head slightly. "It hasn't been easy…but we've been together. And I care for him very much."

"So ya love him?" Daryl asked.

And in response to his own feelings he took another drink from the whiskey bottle and leaned a little on the bed, keeping the bottle with him. He hadn't been trashed in a good long time…but he had a feeling he didn't care if that was how he ended this night.

Carol looked at him again.

"I do love him," Carol said, some hesitancy in her voice. "I can't help but love him…but if you're asking if I'm in love with him…I don't think I am…"

"Same damn thing," Daryl muttered.

Carol shook her head and she laughed lightly, surprising him.

"No…it isn't," she said. "It isn't at all…you fell in love with Beth? When you were…travelling with her?"

Daryl sat up a little then and shook his head.

"No…" he said. He chuckled at the irony of it all because it was almost too much for him to take.

But he worried he would feel like a royal horse's ass if she was in love with Tyreese and he just up and said that he'd loved her for a long damn time…and that just like Merle had accused of him of more than once in his life…he didn't have the balls to do anything about it.

"I ain't fell in love with Beth," he said. "I told Joe I did…I told the others I did…'cause I ain't wanted ta say…didn't wanna tell 'em the damn truth. The shit they say? Ya don't wanna hear 'em say that shit 'bout nobody ya really love…hell…don't wanna hear 'em talkin' 'bout shit they don't know nothin' about…shit that ain't theirs ta talk about."

Daryl pushed the whiskey bottle toward Carol again and she started to push it away, but he pushed back until she took it with something like a growl and took a swallow of it.

"That's good…that's enough," she said. "I don't want to sleep in…"

"Fuck!" Daryl spat, snatching the bottle out of her hand and getting up from the bed. "I'ma get'cha ass back ta wherever you come from…first damn thing in the mornin'…ya can't even wait until then?"

And he hadn't meant to get so annoyed and he hadn't meant to be as loud as he had. Suddenly he worried that someone might come…someone might wonder what was happening in there since it wouldn't be the normal sounds that they were used to straining their ears for in this sort of situation.

But no one came and Carol looked shocked and pissed all at the same time.

"Daryl…if I don't get back…within twenty four hours of when I left, there's a good chance that Tyreese and Judith will move on without me because they think there's trouble," Carol said. "We have a baby…and we are doing everything we can to keep that little girl alive. If Tyreese thinks I'm dead…which he will…then he's got to figure out if there's any danger threatening him…threatening her…and they'll move on without me…and I don't want that…"

Daryl sighed.

He felt like an asshole for blowing up at her. He felt like an asshole because he knew that he was pissed off right now about something that could have gone completely different if he'd just done things differently. Maybe, if he'd told her a long damn time ago how he felt, then she'd have gone about this whole thing differently…she'd have been just as happy to see him as he was to realize that it was her and that she was alive.

And suddenly he didn't care if she saw him as a horse's ass or not…because the night would run out eventually and it was clear that she was going to bust hell wide open to get back where she'd come from…to get back to Tyreese and Judith.

At least when she went, he was going to know that he may have been a horse's ass, but he'd manned up enough to say what he wanted to say instead of drowning in it night after night and day after day.

"I never loved Beth," Daryl said quickly. "I never loved her because I ain't never loved but one damn woman…an' I wanted ta tell her so damn many times…but I never knew how ta do it because I was…scared or some shit. I didn't even know what the hell ta do with myself…an' I still don't…"

The look of confusion that was on her face earlier was swiped across it again.

"I love you," Daryl said.

He chuckled as soon as he said it. As soon as he heard the words leave his mouth he chuckled because they'd come out…after all this time they'd finally come out…and they hadn't even been as hard as he'd thought they would be while he'd been dreading them. They hadn't even left a taste in his mouth…or if they did, he couldn't taste them over the whiskey.

Daryl took another swallow of the whiskey and put the bottle on the dresser, keeping his back to Carol because he didn't want to see the look on her face after such an admission on his part.

Because he didn't know if she'd felt it before…if she might have felt the same way for him, though he had at least once suspected she might…but he figured that now she certainly didn't and she might not know what to do with her new wealth of information in the face of a situation where she couldn't do anything about it.

The odd laugh that he heard behind him wasn't what he'd expected, though, and he turned around. She was laughing, but it wasn't real laughter…it was ironic laughter maybe…an uncomfortable laugh. Almost choked out by something else.

She stood up, coming a little closer to him and consequently farther away from the flickering light source.

"You love me?" She asked.

Daryl nipped at his thumb, but he nodded his head.

And she looked more confused than she had before. She shook her head at him, leaning toward him slightly.

"Daryl…are you serious?" Carol asked.

And now it was Daryl's turn to produce the choking laugh. Because he'd never been more serious in his life and he wasn't too damn sure who would think that such an admission was one that should be made as a joke.

"Yeah I'm serious…" he said.

"But you never said anything?" Carol asked.

He shrugged.

"This ain't easy for me now," Daryl said. "Hell…I gotta say it though…'cause I thought it every damn day since Rick told me what he done…an' I swore I'd say it…so if I'm takin' ya back in the mornin'…then at least I did say it."

"All that time…every time that I…" Carol stopped and shook her head. "You laughed when I asked you if you wanted to…do anything with me…"

Daryl laughed then.

"Hell…I didn't know if you was jokin' or not…an' I was terrified either damn way…" Daryl admitted.

He picked up the bottle again to drink from it and Carol snatched it out of his hand, the contents sloshing around.

"Terrified? Of me?" Carol asked.

Daryl swallowed and studied her for a moment, wishing that he had some kind of power…some kind of way to get inside her head and know what was going on in there.

"I ain't never loved no woman before," Daryl said. "An' I was terrified…I knew I was bound ta fuck it up…I didn't wanna fuck it up."

He reached for the bottle and she let go of it, standing there looking a little stunned.

"Don't matter no way, right?" He added after a moment.

She couldn't respond in the moment because there was a pounding at the door.

"I'm leaving your plates…" Joe announced loudly.

And Daryl heard the sound of something being put down outside the door. He waited, listening as Joe's boot steps faded out.

"We should eat…get ta bed…gotta get'cha back in the mornin'…" Daryl said.

And Carol still didn't respond in any way, but Daryl occupied himself with bringing in the plates loaded with what appeared to be beans and some kind of questionable meat. He closed the door back and held out one of the plates in Carol's direction as she turned toward him but made no move to go anywhere.

She accepted it, the somewhat stunned look fading now from her face.

"I'm going back tomorrow," Carol said with some determination.

"Yeah…I got that," Daryl said, sitting down on the bed.

He had thought…at one point…that he would go with her. But that was before everything that he'd made up in his overactive imagination had blown up in his face.

Now…faced with the fact that he'd made an ass of himself and admitted his feelings to a woman who loved another man…or was in love with him…or whatever the hell it was that he was supposed to call it…he figured he'd just let her go. It would be better for her…and maybe he was meant to be in the company of the assholes that he'd found…maybe he was no less an asshole, really, than any of them.

"Daryl…I can't leave Judith and Tyreese," Carol said.

Daryl nodded his head, now eating his food…because at least if he was going to be mortified he was going to do it on a full stomach.

Carol came over and sat down on the bed beside him, and he figured she might eat and she might let the whole thing drop. Then they could go to bed and that would be all there was to it…this whole thing would simply be over.

And she did eat…and she was quiet for a while…but finally she spoke.

"I've loved you…since Hershel's farm," she said.

Daryl looked at her and she nodded her head.

"I did…and you never…" she stopped. "I tried to joke with you…I tried to make it a joke to break the ice, because at first I thought you were shy and I thought you were nervous…and I thought you needed the push. But then…when it was a joke, and it was just a joke…I thought you just didn't feel the same way about me."

Daryl suddenly didn't want any more of his food. She didn't have to make him feel guilty about squandered opportunity…he could do that just fine on his own.

"Yeah…well…weren't no joke," he said as he got up and took his plate to the dresser, leaving it there. She held out her plate toward him.

"I'm not really hungry," she said.

He came and took the plate, putting it where he'd left his and then he came back to the bed and sat down, not sure what to do with himself and knowing that he couldn't leave the room, no matter how bad he wanted to at the moment.

"I'm glad you told me…" Carol said. "I just wish that you had felt like you could have told me earlier…"

"Yeah…'cause now you don't love me no more," Daryl said with the same ironic chuckle that had choked him before. "It's…it's fine…ya know? My loss…I fucked up."

He shifted around, pulling back the blankets on the bed that he'd only messily pulled up that morning.

Carol reached and caught his arm and he turned, shocked at the first physical contact that they'd had.

"I still love you," Carol said. "I've changed…a lot…but that hasn't changed."

Daryl turned his body toward her, not sure what to do about the situation.

"What'cha sayin'?" He asked.

"I'm saying that I love you, Daryl," Carol said. "That I have…that I do…and that I will."

He nodded his head slightly.

"But'cha love Tyreese?" He asked.

"I do," she said. "But it's a different kind of love…"

Daryl started to ask her if he could kiss her…he started to ask if that would be alright or even if it was appropriate, but instead of asking, he simply did.

And maybe he'd been a little more enthusiastic than he meant to be because she pulled away from before she came back to him and responded to the kiss.

And he felt like his mind might explode with the sensation of her lips on his…with her kissing him like he'd imagined she might more than once. Except this time it wasn't imagination…it was real.

Daryl reached an arm around her and instinctively pulled her against him, wanting more of her…wanting to be closer to her…it felt like he was starving for her.

But she pushed him away and he looked at her, seeking explanation.

"You hurt me, Daryl," Carol said. "Every time that you…joked about us…I felt like you were saying I wasn't good enough…I wasn't what you wanted."

"I weren't tryin' ta say that," Daryl said.

"But that's what you said," Carol responded.

"So what the hell does that mean?" Daryl asked, frustrated once more with having had her in his arms…feeling like he understood everything…and suddenly he felt like he didn't understand a single thing.

"It means that I'm not over being hurt…not instantly…not just because you told me you loved me and that you joked…about me…to protect yourself," Carol said.

Daryl thought he might understand what she was saying, and he accepted it, though he didn't like it. He couldn't really blame her…in her position he might be pretty damn pissed off.

"But you still goin' back in the mornin'?" He asked.

She nodded.

"I am," she said. "But where we are…it's safe…you could come with me."

"An' how's Tyreese gonna feel about that?" Daryl asked.

Carol made a face, but Daryl wasn't going to venture what it meant. She took a breath and held it for a second before releasing it.

"I think that Tyreese will understand," Carol said. "I'll handle him. But I want you to come…if you want to."

Daryl nodded his head.

"I'll come," he said. "We'll figure it out…"

Carol smiled softly.

"Let's go to sleep," she said. "I can't afford to waste time in the morning."

Daryl nodded his head and watched as she got up and went around the bed, taking her shoes off but leaving everything else in place before she slid under the cover.

He wasn't entirely sure how this was going to work out…and he wasn't even entirely sure of what was happening…but he felt better.

He felt, for the first time in a good while, something like hope knocking about in his chest.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Here we go, another little chapter here. **

**I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!**

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Carol couldn't help but grow frustrated as she followed Daryl back toward the store where he'd, and she couldn't make herself see it as anything different, abducted her the day before.

She felt like they were moving slower than she wanted to…slower than they had to…and more than once she rushed ahead of him just to realize that she wasn't entirely sure where she was and she had to wait for him to help guide her.

He was quiet, and Carol wondered to herself if he was silent because he was sour that she hadn't responded to his declaration of love the way that he'd wanted her to…but it was a lot for her to take in and her mind wasn't able to fully focus on anything that was happening beyond her concern to return to the house.

Because she loved Daryl…and she'd loved him a long time…but she'd also resigned herself to living without his love and, as of late, to living without him.

But she felt like she'd come too far and given too much of her emotions to keeping Judith safe to know that Tyreese and Judith were out there alone, without her, and that having the little girl on his own might be too much for Tyreese to handle. It had all been too much to trade what they'd built together, between them, because she'd been abducted by a group of ruffians that Daryl had fallen in with and had, in some ways, allowed to turn him into someone that she barely recognized.

Or maybe it was her that had changed so dramatically that she no longer recognized him…but either way…her main concern was the return.

For now, Daryl would simply have to be secondary.

"Are we almost there?" Carol asked. "Daryl…where's the store?"

"It's just up here…we almost there," Daryl grumbled back at her.

She still had to get back from the store to the house and they weren't even back at the place yet. She had more or less forced Daryl into skipping breakfast and they'd left just as the sun was barely beginning to light up the sky so that he could get her back and hopefully leave her the time that she needed.

The other filthy and leering creatures of Daryl's group…the ones she barely wanted to attribute the name "men" to, had agreed to let him take her back alone…making lewd comments about what was likely to happen as a parting gift when he got her back to where she wanted to go…and as far as she could tell, they weren't following them.

When the place around her became familiar, they stepped back into town and she fought the urge to take off running then.

"I've got to go…" she said.

Daryl nodded his head.

"Are you coming with me?" Carol asked.

Daryl gnawed at his lip and shook his head.

And for a moment, Carol felt her heart catch. She'd thought that he was coming with her…that they were going to have time…at least as much time as anyone was offered these days…to get to know one another again. But now he was saying that he wasn't coming.

He would "claim" her…keep her overnight...say that he'd loved her all the times that he'd made her feel so inadequate…and then he wasn't going with her.

Carol sucked in a breath and nodded her head.

"OK…if you don't want to go…" she said, not knowing exactly how to say goodbye to him when she'd barely said hello again.

Daryl shook his head.

"I'm comin', but I ain't comin' with you," Daryl said. "Won't be long they gon' be lookin' for me…an' if I go with you…they gon' find me but they gon' find you too."

Daryl shook his head.

"I ain't gon' let that happen," he said. "So you tell me 'bout where it is…'bout what I'm lookin' for…an' you go on alone. I'ma mess up the trail as best I can an' head in…long way around…so they can't follow me."

Carol felt her chest loosen a little. He wasn't staying with them…he was simply going to take a different route…a safer route for all of them.

"Go through the woods," Carol said, trying to figure out how to tell him to get to the house when she really only knew its location by the memory that her feet had of the way to get there. "Just as you get through the woods…you cross…a field…and a road…and then there's another little wooded area. It backs up to the house."

Daryl chuckled.

"Any damn idea what the road is called?" He asked.

Carol shook her head.

"No…I don't know…we only found the town by wandering around," Carol admitted.

Neither she nor Tyreese were trackers by any standards. Everything they'd stumbled upon since they started travelling was just something that they happened to find as they wandered about. There wasn't really any method to their approach…and it had caused them to trip back over their own steps more than once and realize that their déjà vu was really only coming from the fact that they had been somewhere before.

Daryl nodded his head.

"Alright," he said. "I'll find it…"

Carol made a face.

"Are you sure?" She asked. "We could go together…try to throw it off…"

Daryl shook his head.

"Not safe enough," he said. He raised an eyebrow at her and then looked behind him quickly like he was making sure that he wasn't already being followed, before he turned back to her. "I found ya before…I'll find ya again. Just stay put…they'll move out the area in a couple days time…'til then, even if ya don't see me…stay put."

Carol nodded.

"As long as we can," she said. "If there's trouble…we have to move."

He nodded and Carol felt the sweeping sense of urgency to go rush over her again.

"I really need to go…" she said.

She was somewhat surprised…still unused to an affectionate Daryl…when he reached out and caught her slightly roughly by the back of the head and crushed his lips to hers. She struggled at first, overwhelmed a little by the way that Daryl seemed to like to kiss…or seemed to think he was supposed to kiss, but then she did her best to return to the affection.

When she finally pulled away from him, she sucked in a breath, took him in as quickly as she could with her eyes, not sure if she'd really ever see him again, and then she bid him farewell…offering him a soft spoken declaration of her love and hearing his almost growled back to her as she turned her body and darted in the direction that she knew the house to be in…determined to outrun time if she could and hoping that nothing more than one or two Walkers stumbled into her path to slow her down at all.

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Carol's lungs felt like they might collapse before she reached the house, once it was in view just beyond the end of the second patch of trees and her heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she hardly noticed it anymore.

Her legs were killing her, but she kept her speed as best she could to keep the worry from finding a place inside of her just yet.

She'd left Daryl behind…probably coming, but she had no idea when he'd come or if he'd ever actually find the place. And she had yet to reach the house to find out if Tyreese had gone or if he'd stayed. And she realized, when she thought about it, even though she was trying not to think about it, that she may have sealed her fate as being alone if Tyreese and Judith were gone and Daryl never found the place…or decided not to come.

But as she let her feet, numb almost, pound the ground around the side of the house, coming up toward the front of it near where the other road…the one they travelled sometimes in search of other places to get supplies…ran up to the driveway that led to the fence, Carol saw Tyreese out in the yard, working in the garden that they'd started and she heard Judith squeal…letting out the familiar call that she had for Carol that sounded like a mispronounced crow's call.

"Call! Call!" Judith squealed.

And Carol thought she might just give up and collapse right there, never making it the last few feet to the gate.

But she didn't have to make too much further before she was met by Tyreese who lifted her up in a swift motion, right off of her tired legs.

Carol sunk into him at first, not objecting at all the treatment of being carried like a child or a rag doll while her lungs struggled to get air and reminded her that she wasn't in the perfect physical shape for multiple mile dashes.

"Are you OK?" Tyreese asked, carrying her with as little complaint as he might have used to carry Judith, over to the gate and stepping inside with her.

"You can put me down," she got out and a moment later her feet found the ground just inside the gate and Tyreese, panting a little maybe from the exertion or maybe from her appearance, locked the gate back. Before Carol could speak again, though he'd wrapped an arm around her, supporting her, and started guiding her toward the house.

"Jude…Jude…let's go inside…get some water for Carol…you come inside now," Tyreese said.

Carol glanced at the little girl, but it didn't appear that she needed to even be told what they were doing because she was already toddling at the best run that she had toward the steps.

"Slow down…" Carol coughed out at the girl. "Don't fall!"

And Judith slowed her movement just a little, looking back at them instead of looking where she was going…almost guaranteeing that if she wasn't going to fall before, she probably would now.

But they reached her before she reached the steps and Tyreese picked her up quickly, making her laugh at the upward swing, and landed her against his other hip.

"You're OK? You're not bit…not scratched…hurt?" Tyreese asked, helping Carol up the porch steps and into the house.

And she got inside and collapsed on the couch before she was even able to speak fully, accepting Judith who was dying to get to her, while Tyreese went and brought her water.

"Not hurt," Carol said. "I ran the whole way…I was…I thought you'd leave…"

Tyreese sat beside her while she drank the water.

He shook his head at her.

"I wasn't leaving until I knew I had to," Tyreese said. "I just…didn't feel like I had to leave. I felt like you were coming back."

Carol chuckled a little, thankful that she was beginning to breath normally once more and that she could feel her heart slowing down some…even if with the sitting she felt the throbbing in her legs worse than before.

"You have a lot of faith," Carol teased.

But Tyreese looked serious. He wasn't over the scare yet…and Carol knew what he'd probably felt the whole time that she was gone, especially when he'd realized she wasn't making it back last night.

"I do," Tyreese said. "In you…I do…what happened? Walkers?"

Carol shook her head and rubbed Judith's back where the little girl was hugging against her, thrilled that she'd come back even if her "right back" might have been prolonged a little more than usual.

"I was at the store and…a group showed up," Carol said. "And Daryl was with them…he claimed me…and then I had to spend the night before he could bring me back to the store this morning…"

Carol thought if she told the story quickly enough it might be easier to take and it might not sound quite like what it was.

But one look at Tyreese's face told her that no matter how fast she'd formed the words, she hadn't managed to erase the story entirely from his hearing. His facial expression, though, told her that he didn't even know where to begin with comprehending the whole thing and she couldn't really blame him. It had been her experience and she still hadn't fully wrapped her mind around it.

"A group?" Tyreese asked. "You were 'claimed'?"

And Carol almost laughed at him because, she supposed, that was as good a place as any to start trying to understand the whole thing.

"This group…they claim everything," Carol said. She'd only gotten a brief introduction herself as to how the group worked…but she could offer at least what she knew. "So they claim…well, women too."

"Daryl…our Daryl?" Tyreese asked.

Carol understood what he was trying to say. The reappearance of anyone they had known before was mind boggling. They were, at least until yesterday, one hundred percent sure that no one else from the prison had survived. Or, at least that's what they told themselves to keep from fretting over the fact that they clearly weren't going to find anyone else.

She nodded.

"Daryl…he's alive…he was with this group," Carol said.

"He made you stay with him?" Tyreese asked.

Carol nodded her head.

"I had to stay the night," she said. "He…claimed me…so that none of the others would do it…because they…"

She broke off and shrugged slightly, but it was enough for him…either he could read her mind as well as she'd suspected he could at times or his mind was already there so he didn't need much to fill in what might have happened.

"But he didn't…" Tyreese offered.

Carol shook her head.

She waited a moment while he seemed to be turning the information over in his head in silence and then she spoke again.

"Tyreese…I told him where we are," Carol said. "He's leaving the group…sneaking off and messing up the trail so they can't follow him. I asked him to come and stay with us."

Tyreese stared at her a moment, his brows furrowed, but then he finally nodded his head.

"If you think it's safe for Jude," he said.

Carol nodded her head quickly.

"Daryl would never hurt Judith," Carol said. "He wouldn't…he just isn't like that…"

She paused and thought about it…thought about everything the night before. And even though it had been several hours, it still all seemed like almost a blur of time that had passed.

"He's changed a lot," Carol said. "But I don't think he's changed like that…he's not like them…he's just a little lost."

And Carol didn't know if lost was the right word or not for what she'd seen on Daryl, but it was the best that she could come up with.

Tyreese chuckled and shook his head.

"What?" Carol asked.

Tyreese shook his head again before speaking.

"He's probably lost…because he doesn't have Rick to tell him what to think anymore…" Tyreese said.

He shook his head again, dismissing the comment.

"I'll make something to eat, are you hungry?" Tyreese asked.

Carol nodded.

"You stay here with Jude…I'll make something to eat," Tyreese repeated.

He got up from the couch.

"When are we supposed to expect Daryl?" He asked. And Carol could tell that he was still trying to figure out what to do with the information that he'd just received.

"I don't know," she admitted. "He's got to confuse his trail…and find us…if he comes."

Tyreese nodded again.

"Then I won't make anything for him until we know when he's coming," Tyreese said. "You stay here…rest…you can tell me the rest of it later."

Carol nodded and watched him go into the kitchen. Judith squirmed and Carol put her down, watching the little girl as she went to her toy box…literally just a box full of some toys they'd gathered together for her…to choose what she might bring to Carol to play with as a coming home present.

Carol wondered if Daryl really would come…and she wondered what, if anything at all, might come from his declaration to her…and she wondered what she should say to Tyreese about it, and if he was going to have any kind of response to the whole situation.

But she assumed, and hoped she was right, that she'd figure out what to say and how to say it…when the time was right.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Here we go, another little chapter. **

**I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! **

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Tyreese was quiet when he stepped out on the front porch of the little house and found Carol, sitting in the rocker, rocking Judith who was long gone from the world and dancing around in whatever little dream world it was that children could occupy these days.

He took Judith gently out of her arms and disappeared inside and Carol kept rocking in the quieter of the two rockers and looking out into the darkness.

Daryl hadn't come…and she couldn't help but worry. There was no telling if he'd decided to stay with the group…or if he'd gotten lost…or if his group had found him and stopped him somehow.

And it brought an unease over her because she didn't know what to think or how to feel about his absence.

For so long they'd become accustomed to just thinking that there was no one else…that the only people they even knew were each other…that now, to know that Daryl was out there was a little unnerving all to itself. It shook, in a lot of ways, the foundation of the comfort that Carol had found in the life that she considered hers now.

Because there were others out there…and not just others. There was Daryl out there somewhere, and after so much time he'd said things to her that her mind could almost convince her now, in his absence, were nothing more than things that she'd made up.

If it weren't for the fact that her body ached from the run she'd made earlier, she might believe, in fact, that she'd just had some kind of very vivid dream or hallucination.

When Tyreese came back out, he settled into the creaking rocker at her side and started up the squeak and moan of the piece of furniture before he ever spoke.

"Are you cold?" He asked.

Carol hummed at him and shook her head, but she wrapped the shawl she was wearing around her a little tighter in an absentminded response to the question. She wasn't cold at all, but the shawl was comfortable and she was wearing it mostly for that.

"I don't know if he's coming," Carol said softly.

Tyreese hummed.

"If he's not here by now…he's probably not coming tonight," Tyreese said. "Walkers are getting more active and it's always worse after dark. He knows that…and it's easier to travel with light at any rate."

Carol knew that he was right. Daryl would have stopped, wherever he'd ended up if he was heading in this direction, and stayed somewhere for the night when it started to get dark. He didn't know where he was going…it was easy to get lost when you could see your hand in front of your face, so it was much easier if you couldn't.

And he wouldn't take the chance with the Walkers…because, unlike living people, they seemed not to suffer any change in vision at all at night…and they seemed to grow more active, whether it was their imaginations or not suggesting that they did.

"Tyreese…" Carol started after a moment.

He hummed that he'd heard her.

"Daryl knew…about Rick leaving me," Carol said. "He knew…well…I guess that means that he knew what I did…"

Tyreese hummed again.

"I figured he did," Tyreese said.

The creaking of his rocker increased slightly.

"Why would you say that?" Carol asked.

"I told you about the rat," Tyreese said after a moment of silence. "The one that we found at the prison? That Lizzie had dissected?"

Carol hummed to push him on. She'd heard his stories more than once and he'd heard hers more than once.

Because even if they were uncomfortable stories, they got hashed and rehashed every now and again…especially in the context of trying to rid oneself of the images that could be especially haunting at night.

"Well," Tyreese continued, "just when I was showing it to them…to Rick and Daryl…that's when the Governor came…they wanted to talk to me…"

"They were going to tell you…" Carol offered.

"That's what I think," Tyreese said. "Rick told Daryl…they were going to tell me…"

"Daryl knows that I did it," Carol said. "But he didn't say anything…"

"What is he going to say?" Tyreese asked. "If I can forgive you…and you know I do…what has Daryl really got to say about the whole thing?"

Carol sighed.

She didn't know what Daryl might think. Now it seemed so long ago that she'd killed Karen and David, that it seemed like they were completely removed from it.

She'd done what she thought she needed to do, and she still wasn't convinced that it hadn't been the right thing to do, even if it was something that haunted her. She never wanted to be a killer…it wasn't something she could say she aspired to…but things had to be done.

And Carol and Tyreese both understood very well that things had to be done…difficult things. And you weren't always going to feel like you did the right thing or the best thing, but sometimes you just had to keep living and knowing that you'd done the only thing you could.

"I don't know," Carol admitted. "Maybe he's got nothing to say about it…maybe he doesn't think any worse of me…"

Tyreese chuckled somewhat ironically after a moment.

"What?" Carol asked.

"Well…if he talked to Rick, which we know he did…judging by Rick's line of thinking he thinks I'm a cold blooded, irrational killer too…after all, wasn't that what Rick said? I would kill you?" Tyreese said.

Carol sucked in a breath.

Yes, among other things, that was Rick had said. He'd said it like he'd known what he was talking about…he'd said it with such assurance. Even Carol had believed him to some degree, and she was sorry now for having doubted Tyreese in that way.

"I'm sure that Daryl knows you're not a killer," Carol said. "He knows we've been together for all this time…if you were going to kill me, you'd have done it by now."

"And he knows you're not a killer if he knows you're with me and Judith," Tyreese said. "If you were…I might not have survived that infection…"

Carol knew that Tyreese wasn't really trying to make a joke out of the whole situation, but the tone in his voice did suggest that he was trying to lighten the mood a little, perhaps, and it worked. Carol laughed lightly at the thought and silence fell between them before she let her mind sink back into just one tiny pocket of all the thoughts that she was trying to sort through.

"He doesn't know about Mika and Lizzie," Carol said.

And there was silence…because probably Tyreese needed a moment to think about it as well.

He sighed after a moment.

"There's nothing for anyone to say about that either," Tyreese said. "That wasn't you…that was us. And it was the only thing that we could do…it's not easy…but…it was the only thing."

Carol didn't argue the point with him at all.

Sometimes she felt like it was more her fault than Tyreese's…everything that had happened with the girls. She was a mother…at least once she had been…and she should have known that something was wrong with Lizzie. She should have known that it was something much more terrible than what she suspected.

Because she'd known that something was a little off about the girl, of course, but she'd accredited her behavior to simply what she'd experienced. She was growing up in a time and a place that was difficult for adults…so it could only be so much more challenging for children who hadn't yet learned to even understand the things that adults could understand, less likely could they understand the things that even as an adult you simply couldn't explain.

But Carol hadn't seen it coming and she hadn't been able to protect Mika. She'd been the one to pull the trigger, even though she'd had Tyreese's support, and she'd been the one to end Lizzie's life. He was with her on what had to be done and he'd supported her through it…but she was the one who would carry forever the brunt of the weight.

And she didn't know if Daryl would understand what had happened…or if he even could understand…because it wouldn't be an easy thing to swallow. It hadn't been an easy thing to swallow.

"Carol…if you don't want to tell him what happened," Tyreese said, "we don't have to tell him. We don't have to tell him anything about it. We can keep that between us. No one else has to know."

Carol didn't respond verbally, but she appreciated what he was saying. It was her choice. If she wanted Daryl to know, then he'd know…but Tyreese wasn't going to be the one to bring it up.

"Tyreese…" Carol started again after she let silence fall once again between them. "There's something else…something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Yeah?" Tyreese asked, picking up the creaking once more with the slight movement of his leg to push the chair.

"When I was with Daryl…" Carol stopped talking and thought about it.

She wasn't sure what to tell Tyreese about Daryl's confession. Honestly she knew that she didn't have to tell him anything…really and truly it wasn't something that she had to share with him…but she also felt like she needed to tell him what had happened…because she wasn't so sure anymore what he thought about their relationship…and she wasn't so sure what she thought about it either.

"When I was with Daryl," she started again, "he…said something to me that I wasn't expecting…he said that he loved me…and that he'd been looking for me."

Tyreese stilled the rocking motion of his chair for a moment and then resumed it with the full force of before.

"Did you know?" Tyreese asked after a second.

"No…I didn't…" Carol admitted.

"Do you…love him?" Tyreese asked.

Carol sucked in a breath and rocked her own chair with her foot to give her body a way to release some of the nervous energy that it was storing…some of the energy that would keep her from sleeping tonight, even if she wanted to.

"I do," she said finally. "I have…for a long time."

Tyreese hummed.

"So it wasn't your husband…" He said.

Carol looked at him, though his silhouette was all she could really make out…and likely most of what he could make out of her if he looked.

"My husband?" She asked.

"Mmm hmmm…" Tyreese hummed. "I thought…that you weren't ready…that you were uncomfortable with me because of your husband. I thought…you might still be in love with him…"

Tyreese broke off and turned in his chair so that he was facing Carol.

"But it wasn't your husband," Tyreese said.

Carol shook her head. She hadn't really realized that was what might be going on with her and with her feelings about advancing a relationship with Tyreese…but now that he put it that way, so simply and so matter of factly, she didn't feel like it was a theory that she could object outright.

"No…it wasn't my husband," Carol said. She sighed again, running through the thoughts that she'd been circling through during the day while she waited to see if Daryl might come and she'd considered how to breach the topic with Tyreese. "I never knew that he loved me," Carol added after a moment. "I always thought that he was looking…for something…better, I guess."

Tyreese chuckled next to her.

"He'd be hard pressed to find it," Tyreese said.

Carol smiled softly to herself and accepted the compliment for what it was. Once upon a time she'd fought Tyreese over compliments such as that…but she'd learned that was his way and she might as well accept them…besides, it always did make you feel better to hear them.

"When I first got to the prison," Tyreese offered after a moment, "I thought that the two of you were a couple…"

Carol laughed to herself over the idea of it.

"I did…" Tyreese added. "I even asked a couple of people if you were…but then, after a while…when there seemed to be nothing happening…I just figured that you were very good friends."

"We were," Carol said. "I…guess I quit expecting more a long time ago."

"But now you're expecting more?" Tyreese asked.

"He said he loved me…and I think he means it," Carol said. "And…I love him…but I don't know what I'm expecting. Sometimes it's better not to expect anything…then you're not disappointed."

Tyreese chuckled lightly.

"That's the truth," he said.

He rocked forward in his chair and got up quickly.

"Tyreese…" Carol said, catching his attention before he could go inside, since that's where he was clearly headed and where Carol knew she should be headed too. "You're not…mad…are you?"

"Does he make you happy?" Tyreese asked.

Carol didn't know if she could answer that question.

The thought of Daryl had once made her happy…but then she'd resigned herself to the fact that he wouldn't love her…at least not the way she wanted him to love her…and she'd let go of the notion almost entirely. Now she couldn't say that he did or he didn't make her happy because she felt, still, so far removed from him.

She thought, though, that she knew what Tyreese was asking…and for that there was only really the most simplistic of answers necessary.

"Yes," Carol said. "I think he would make me happy…at least."

Tyreese nodded his head, looming somewhat near her in the darkness as he stood by the chair that he'd recently gotten out of.

"I think…" Tyreese said, "that there's very little happiness left in this world. So if you've found something that makes you happy…I'm not going to deny you whatever it is. But…if he doesn't make you happy…if he doesn't want to make you happy…I can say that I'm not going anywhere…my place is with you and Judith."

Tyreese walked to the screen door of the house and pulled it open before he stopped and spoke again.

"You should come…get some sleep," he said. "He won't be coming tonight."


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Here we go, another little chapter.**

**As I said before, this is not going to be a very long fic (it was never meant to be) and I imagine that I'll be wrapping it up within the next chapter or two. It was simply something for me to play with a scenario in my head…not to be an epic saga. LOL**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter! Let me know what you think! **

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With the remarkable set of detailed instructions that Daryl had to find the house that he was looking for, and given the number of "roads" "fields" "wooded areas" and "farm houses" in rural Georgia, he had begun to doubt that he'd ever find the house after having gone out of his way to avoid going directly to it…which was the only way that he knew to actually arrive at the place.

Daryl had circled back, closer to the house where he was staying with the group, and then he'd extended his trip, following the most twisted path that he could while still clinging to the direction that he was attempting to follow with some iota of his mind.

He wanted them, if they were to put any effort at all into following him…which he wasn't entirely sure if they would or they wouldn't…to end up as lost as was humanly possible.

And his efforts cost him the rest of the day.

So he'd slept in the hay loft of a barn that had afforded him one resident barn Walker, and then he'd gotten started again the next day, really only stopping long enough to raid one farm house he passed and eat quickly the contents of some disgusting canned goods that the place offered up.

And only then had his search for the house truly begun, figuring that none of his group were very good trackers, and none of them would be willing to put in so much time and energy just to find him, especially considering they weren't that fond of him in the first damn place.

When he'd seen the farm house from the road, he'd turned his feet up the path toward it, tiredly taking out the nearest Walker to amble toward him, and he'd almost drug himself to the house…not wanting to get his hopes up that this farm house would be the right farm house.

But as he got closer, he first became aware of the stake system around the perimeter of the farmhouse's fences…a smaller scaled model of the stake system they'd used around the front gates of the prison except that it extended all the way around instead of stopping.

And then he became aware of the figure of Tyreese, though the man hadn't seen him yet, pumping water from what appeared to be a hand pump at the side of the house.

Daryl knew that he'd made it…he'd found them…and with any luck, he hadn't brought anyone with him.

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A bath and a hot meal were two things that Daryl had rarely had since the Governor had destroyed the prison…and he certainly hadn't imagined having both in the presence of Tyreese and Carol with Lil' Asskicker propped on his knee and asking for him to share with her bites of food.

It was as though he was caught in some kind of dream world…like when he had stepped through the gates, welcomed by Carol who had appeared, though he hadn't seen her until he'd almost reached the gates, from the small garden that they were working on establishing, he had stepped into a world that hadn't existed for him before.

In fact, nothing like this had existed since the prison…since they'd begun to think that maybe the Governor was really gone and life could be normal…since before the virus and before the death.

"But do you think that they'll come?" Tyreese asked, searching really for more clarification on the group that Daryl had been with than he could give.

Daryl shook his head, taking another bite of food for himself and shifting the child's weight so that she could reach the green bean that she was going in search of from his plate.

"Can't say," Daryl said. "Not for sure…we ain't never had nobody in the group go AWOL. Was either that'cha died or ya stayed with the group. Don't know how Joe feels about up an' disappearin'…'cause he ain't never really had ta prove it. We give the offer…but nobody never took it."

"But are they dangerous?" Tyreese asked.

Carol poured Daryl more water and he grunted his thanks to her.

"Hell yeah they dangerous," he admitted. "Usually don't fuck too bad with nobody don't get in their way…but if they got a reason ta be pissed off…other guy don't tend ta make it out alive."

Daryl saw the exchange of glances between Carol and Tyreese and she nodded at the man before she settled down in one of the creaking kitchen chairs across the table from Daryl, folding her hands on the piece of furniture in front of her.

"Do you know where they're going?" Carol asked. "When they planned to leave?"

Daryl shook his head, tiring of questions that he had no real aswers to. He could offer his thoughts on the matter…he could offer opinions…but he didn't have anything that could really count as valuable information.

"We been wandering," Daryl said. "I'm the one that's held 'em steady to the area…so they might just go on an' head out. They don't never stay more'n a couple days in any one place. Only reason we stayed put so long this time is 'cause it's the first decent place we come to in a while an' everybody just needed a chance to crash. There's been talk a' headin' everywhere but here…talk a' findin' somethin' grand…but it's all just talk. We went down ta Florida…worse down there."

Carol sighed and looked back at Tyreese who was leaning against the wall of the small kitchen with his arms folded tightly across his chest.

"We've got to move on," he said to her firstly and Daryl and Judith as an afterthought.

"We just got settled…started the garden…" Carol said, shaking her head slightly.

And Daryl thought her tone of voice didn't display really that she was negating what he was saying…just that she was, perhaps, lamenting such a thought.

He could hear the fatigue in her voice, and it was a fatigue that he knew and understood…it was the same fatigue that had followed them all every time that the bottom fell out and every time that they were forced to move again.

"Maybe we don't," Daryl offered. "If they come…there's about six of 'em left…if they come we could handle 'em."

"Three against six aren't very good odds," Tyreese said.

"Neither is hittin' the road again with Lil' Asskicker…shit's gettin' rougher out there every day," Daryl commented.

Truthfully he didn't like the idea of moving on any more than they appeared to like it, as was more than evidenced by their faces, and he'd only been there a matter of maybe a couple of hours.

"They're not going to be the only ones," Carol said. "You said it yourself. It's getting rougher."

"So we hold our own…stay here as long as we can," Daryl offered. "Gotta move later, we move…but we don't let 'em run us outta here when we ain't even seen they faces."

Tyreese shuffled around, filling for himself a glass of water, and then settled back against a different part of the kitchen structure, still facing the table where they sat.

"If we set up a watch…if we keep someone on guard twenty four hours a day…how long do you think that we realistically should be expecting them?" Tyreese asked.

Daryl shrugged, having finished now with his food but keeping the plate close enough for Judith to pick at the food when she felt inspired to eat a bite here or there.

"Least two weeks, I'd say," Daryl said. "Just ta be safe? I set up one hell of a trail for 'em ta follow…so I don't think they'd care that damn much…I weren't worth all that to them…but if you wanna shoot for a time frame…two weeks gives 'em more'n enough time ta get damn tired a' the shit. Less if it'll rain."

There was another exchanged glance between Carol and Tyreese.

"We'll stay," Tyreese offered after a moment. "Two weeks we don't go on any runs unless we absolutely have to…we stay put and we set up a guard. One person is always on watch. If they come…"

"We do what we have to do," Carol offered softly.

Tyreese nodded his head and then stood up from where he was leaning.

"I'm heading out to work in the garden," he said. "Tonight…I'll take the first watch."

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"You pissed that I came?" Daryl asked as he pulled off his boots and started to settle down on the mattress that Carol had directed him toward.

She shook her head at him and took her place on the mattress beside him.

"No," she said. "I'm happy that you came…I didn't know if you were going to find it…if something was going to happen. I thought you might even stay with them."

"I told you I was comin'," Daryl said.

"Things happen sometimes," Carol said. "People change their minds…Walkers happen…people happen. We can't be sure of anything anymore."

Daryl lie there on his back and felt the sway and shift of the mattress as Carol got comfortable. Somewhere off to the side in the darkness he could hear Judith sleeping in the little bed that they had for her, her nose obviously stuffy from the stuff in the air that the start of spring brought.

Carol was, to some degree, right. Things changed. They changed a lot and often they changed without warning. The part that she wasn't right about was that it was something that had to do with this world…the world they lived in now. Things had always been somewhat unpredictable, that was nothing new.

And the other part that Daryl couldn't entirely agree with…the part that was the most difficult to agree with, perhaps…was that there was nothing to be sure of anymore. If anything, today had given him what little hope he could remember having in a long time that there were still things to be sure of…there were still things that you could put your trust in and believe that the world might still deal you something of a fair hand.

"We can be sure of some things," Daryl said.

Carol didn't respond to him, but the shift of the mattress and a quick glance in her direction in the dark room told him that she had moved to at least be facing him.

"This whole damn time…an' I found you," Daryl said. "Gotta count for somethin', right?"

Carol hummed in the darknesss.

"I'm not immortal, Daryl," Carol said. "You can't be sure of me…you shouldn't be…if something happened? It would be too hard if you put all your trust in me…"

"You ain't immortal," Daryl agreed. "An' I ain't neither…none of us is…an' one damn day it's gonna happen to us all…hell I've hoped it would happen more'n once…but I'm pretty damn sure now that I can find ya ass…wherever the hell it is ya end up…"

Daryl fumbled around in the darkness, finding body parts that he couldn't even identify with his hands, before he finally managed to pull Carol into a comfortable position with him, and she came without putting up any sort of a fight, her body close enough to his that he could feel the changes in her as she inhaled and exhaled.

"You can be sure a' one damn thing…" Daryl said. "I made a mistake before…realized it nearly every day…out there on the road…an' I ain't gon' make it again. I love ya…an' you can put whatever kinda faith you wanna put on it, on that."

Carol was quiet still, but Daryl felt her move a little then and he felt her fingertips, in the dark, touch his face, searching him out like she was reading braille because she had little other choice.

And he was careful to make sure that he didn't respond in any way…at least not to pull away like he normally did when touch got to be too much for him. Because this touch…if it was being offered…was a touch that he'd wanted…and a touch that he'd beat himself up for having shied away from before…and he wasn't going to pull away now.

When Carol's fingertips ghosted over his lips, she replaced them, her own soft lips…cool and damp where she must have just licked them…pressing gently on his.

And Daryl closed his eyes and savored that feeling for a moment. When she made the request to deepen the kiss, he allowed it gladly and tangled their tongues together, shifting his body from his side so that he pressed her down, into the mattress, and he let his hands do what little exploring they dared to do.

But finally she pushed up on him and he broke the kiss, wishing he could see her better than he could right now.

"I love you too," Carol said, her breath coming out quicker than normal. "And I'm glad…Daryl…I'm very glad that you found me…"

Daryl pulled off of her enough to find his place on the mattress again, beside her, and he pulled her against him. He could understand from her tone of voice that he was being told "and now you should go to sleep" as surely as if she'd come out and said the words.

And he wanted to be pissed about it…pissed about the fact that he'd finally found her after he'd been looking for her for what seemed like forever and a day…pissed because he knew how he felt about her and that made him anxious to prove it in all the ways that he could, except that he was being dismissed…but he couldn't really be too pissed about it. After all, it had taken him this long to come to terms with his own feelings…and it had taken him this long to admit to her how he felt…he couldn't expect her to simply cover all the ground that she needed to cover in the span of a few days.

At least, though, he'd said what he needed to say…he'd gotten it out there and he'd survived the admission…and now they were together…whether they stayed here or whether they moved on to try to outrun fate or something of the like…at least they were doing it together.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: So, as I stated before, this was just supposed to be something of a short story…something to play at a scenario a little…and I've accomplished what I wanted to with the little piece to the tale. So I'm leaving it here for everyone to use their imaginations to fill in the rest. **

**I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! **

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"I think we can pretty much say we're safe," Daryl said, sliding a little closer to Carol on the porch step. She was leaning against the post, probably half asleep since anytime they did a night watch they did it without sleeping during the day because things needed to get done around the house and three sets of hands weren't really enough to spare people if they absolutely didn't have to.

And Daryl knew that he didn't have to take watch with her…she was capable of doing it just fine on her own…she'd proved to him since he'd gotten there that apparently she was more than capable of doing everything just fine on her own, and she only allowed him and Tyreese both to continue existing with her because she wanted to…but he liked taking watch with her when she had it and he liked sleeping with her when she slept because, otherwise, he felt that he got relatively little time alone with her.

A farmhouse wasn't big enough to keep from tripping over each other, even though he'd suggested earlier this evening that they consider…and she hadn't rejected it but she hadn't agreed to it either…choosing one of the bedrooms to occupy for the warmer weather of winter so that they could at least sleep somewhere with more privacy than the mattress in the middle of the floor.

"We can stop doing watches…stop wakin' up every time we hear a thump," Daryl said. "They ain't comin'…"

It had been at least two weeks…or at least fourteen days…or however you wanted to look at it. There had been a good solid rain…one that was so strong in fact that they'd rushed out to cover their garden with a tarp, all of them drenched to the bone by it, out of fear that all their hard work and all the hope they were putting into the food would simply be gone.

"They might not be coming," Carol said, her voice giving away how tired she was at the moment, "but someone else might…before I ran into your group? We didn't worry so much about people…we thought…" She broke off and laughed ironically to herself, shaking her head and sitting up some from the leaning position that she'd taken on. "We thought…we really thought…that we were the only people left."

Daryl hummed.

He knew they weren't the only people that were left…but maybe they were the only ones that mattered.

"Carol…I ain't gon' say ain't nothin' gon' happen…'cause I can't a bit more promise that than I can promise we ain't gon see more than thirty head a' Walkers at the time…but we can relax some," Daryl said. "We don't need twenty four hour guard…we hole up in the house at night…buys us enough time."

"Until we have to run again," Carol said.

Daryl slipped closer to her and moved his arm around her neck, pulling her so that she would lean against him with the same posture she'd used to lean against the porch post. She came, easily enough, to settle in next to him and it was a bit of a relief.

She still hadn't forgotten entirely his past sins, and he knew it. She remembered that she'd been hurt by him…and he remembered it too, because now he wished that he could go back in time change every one of those opportunities that he squandered. He wished he could go back and tell her what he really felt, every time she'd asked him in a teasing manner if he wanted to "screw around" or…as she'd once suggested "play naked Twister"…because if he could, she might not be keep inching away from him any time he tried to move much beyond a kiss.

"We don't gotta run for a while…an' when we do…we'll find somewhere else ta go…that's the life we lead now…at least we ain't gotta go it alone," Daryl insisted, feeling something like a broken record.

She rubbed her face against his chest and he squeezed the back of her neck.

The night was quiet and there was enough of a breeze to keep the bugs away from them. It could have even been described as an absolutely perfect night if, in the distance a little, Daryl couldn't make out the growls and complaints of Walkers that had skewered themselves on the stake system set up outside the fences.

He chuckled to himself, trailing his fingertips down her back and scratching at the skin beneath her shirt, making her shiver with the change in sensations.

"What is it?" She asked, yawning at the end of her question.

"Kinda romantic," Daryl said. "You…uh…" he broke and chuckled again before he could say it with anything like a straight face, "you wanna screw around?"

He'd prepared himself for her to reject him….whether she was going to do it with words or with gestures, he didn't know, but he was prepared for either.

She looked at him, lifting her head from the position where she'd been resting it and he swallowed, preparing for the impact on his ego.

"Am I supposed to laugh at you now?" She asked. "Take it as a joke?"

And it stung, but Daryl knew he deserved it. He shook his head at her.

"You could," he said. "Be within ya rights ta do it if ya wanted to…but I'd rather ya didn't…rather ya say…that you wanna do it."

She didn't respond and he leaned forward, pulling her face toward him, and kissed her cheek. Then he let his mouth trail down her jaw bone before he leaned and sucked gently at her earlobe, pressing his teeth there and then drawing it back in with his teeth when she quietly responded by leaning into him.

When he pulled up, she came to kiss him…slowly…they had nowhere to go and nowhere to be…they were trapped just where they were until the sun came up if they guarded the sanctity of the all night watch against whatever threats might be coming…or might not be coming.

And Daryl wasn't going to do anything that might possibly stop this from continuing.

When he felt brave enough, and when she seemed to be involved enough in the kisses that he dared to try anything else, feeling her hands on his back, he moved one of his hands down and caught the bottom of the thin shirt she was wearing. He slid his hand up the soft skin of her body and squeezed her breast in his hand and she gasped into his mouth as he worried her nipple between his fingertips.

Carol pulled away from him, her breath coming out quicker than it had before.

"Tyreese and Judith are just in the living room…" Carol said.

Daryl chuckled and shook his head at her.

"Somehow…I got a real good feelin' that ain't gon' change," Daryl said. "They ain't never gon' be no perfect time when they ain't nobody around within a hundred damn miles."

He kept his hand where it was because he really wasn't sure at the moment how to bow out gracefully from his current position.

"You're not…" Carol started and stopped and he waited for her to finish. "You're not ashamed?" She finished finally.

Daryl moved then and kissed her again, keeping the one had where it was and bringing the other up to catch her behind the neck, rubbing his fingers in the hair that she kept short cropped.

"Wasted too damn long bein' ashamed," Daryl said when he broke loose. "Now I'm just tryin' ta make up for lost damn time…'fore we run out again…"

"The front porch?" Carol asked.

"It's as good a place as any," Daryl said. "An' we can both a keep an ear out…can't see shit no way…"

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"Need some help?" Tyreese asked, catching up to Carol as they cleared the stakes outside of the fence.

Daryl was around back of the house, repairing a part of the stake system that hadn't withheld too well the herd that had come through the night before and they were clearing everything with the concern that if they didn't, they'd build up and overrun the space before they could do anything about it.

Carol stopped struggling with the Walker that she was having trouble getting to budge so much as an inch and held her arms out, presenting it to Tyreese as though she were Vanna White showing him the letters that he'd gotten in Wheel of Fortune.

He laughed at her and went to work, freeing the heavy, limp body from its trap.

Carol took a moment, glancing back into the yard where Judith…almost as filthy as they were…was involved in a very serious game with the trucks that she had.

"After we get these bodies over," Tyreese said, "I'm going to finish framing up that smoke house. If we're going to be serious about getting meat in there for the winter…we have to start now."

He dropped the body to the ground with a thud and Carol went around, immediately catching it by the arm to start dragging it. He responded, taking up the other arm…this Walker having been the last on the stakes…and they started the walk toward the pits they would pile up for burning.

"How long do you think we'll stay?" Carol asked. "Through the winter…but then?"

Tyreese shook his head and hummed.

"I'd like to say forever," he said. "But even I know it's a lie…we could pull another year out of the garden if we could find some fertilizer…but most of that's gone…rotted away."

"So you're doubting a year?" Carol asked as they sent the body flopping into the empty pit that would be overrunning by the time that they got the others in there.

Tyreese straightened up once the one Walker was rolled into place and nodded his head.

"Yeah…I'm doubting another year," he said. He wiped his face with his sleeve. "Realistically? We move in the spring when the weather's in our favor…find somewhere else like this. Pass another year."

"And Judith?" Carol asked.

Tyreese raised his eyebrows at her, a smirk playing on his lips.

"I was kind of thinking we might take her with us…" he teased.

Carol made a face at him and he let the smirk expand into a smile.

"What about her?" He asked.

"She spends the rest of her life on the road? Hopping place to place?" Carol asked.

She already knew the answer. It was the only way. Like with many things in their lives, it might not be the ideal way…and it might not be the best way…but sometimes things just boiled down to happening the only way that they could.

Tyreese nodded his head.

"At least until we figure out something better," Tyreese offered. "We can only do what we do…until we figure out something better."

Carol sighed and nodded, confirming her agreement and understanding of what he was saying as she turned and headed toward the other bodies littering the ground. She grabbed up one…a smaller one…though she hated to let herself think of the Walkers as anything more than just pests to be dealt with. She preferred to stay as removed from them as possible.

And Tyreese grabbed up the arms of another one near her, following her along as they took them toward the pit where the other lie in waiting.

"I hate it for Judith, you know? Because…well…we're only going to be around so long," Carol said. "All of us…and even though we're not the only people out there, and we know that now…it seems like there isn't much hope for decent people in the world."

"You never know," Tyreese responded. "We might find something yet…and if we don't…"

He broke off and Carol didn't press him to continue until they'd rolled the two new bodies into the pit, figuring that he might have stopped to allow for the activity.

"If we don't…what?" She asked, panting a little at the exertion and taking a moment to get her breath before they went back for another load.

Tyreese chuckled and shook his head, sucking in his bottom lip against the smile before he turned toward her and lowered his brow at her.

"I'm not deaf…" he said. "And the farmhouse isn't sound proof…I figure…it's possible that Judith might not be left alone in this world…eventually she'll have some scrawny ass little Dixon running around behind her. And I guess…they'll make decent travel companions…"

Carol narrowed her eyes at him and playfully swung at him, though he was too far away for her to reach even if she'd really meant the swing. He laughed and stepped farther out of her way as though it would have done damage if she'd connected with him.

"What the hell y'all doin' out here?" Daryl called, coming toward them from around the side of the house. "Laughin' an' carryin' on…every Walker in the vicinity can hear ya…"

He grabbed, as he passed by, the arm of one of the Walkers, and drug it toward them like he was dragging a sack of potatoes…the action nothing more to them now than just a mundane task.

"Just talking about moving on in the spring," Tyreese said. "We were trying to decide…is it going to be me or you that's responsible for carrying Baby Dixon? Because it's going to be a while before he's able to travel on his own…"

Carol couldn't help but laugh when Daryl stopped, right in the middle of one of his strides, and stood there, still hanging onto the Walker that hadn't quite made it to the pit.

_Maybe there weren't many people left in the world…and maybe none of them were fit to be around people any longer._

_Or maybe…there would be others that they just hadn't found yet…down the road, around the bend…appearing just when they thought the road was clear…that would take up their steps with them._

_But maybe it didn't matter at all…maybe people, in the most general sense of the term, weren't important anymore anyway. _

_Because, at the end of the day…and at the end of the world…it wasn't so important to count how many people travelled with you until the end of the road. _

_What was most important, perhaps, was that they were the ones with which you wanted to share your journey. _

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**AN: So I know it's a shock for those of you who are used to following me on epic journeys…and there will be more of those to come, but this was never meant to be that. **

**And I know you got no smut…and I know that kills some of you…but it just wasn't right (for me) in this little story. So…sorry about that for those of you who thrive on it. LOL**

**Still, I hope you enjoyed it for the little piece that it was. I thank you all for reading and reviewing. You keep me writing! I invite you to join me in some other story to see what might happen there. **


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